STOKTO.com | A piece of Web Design Art
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STOKTO.com | A piece of Web Design Art
One of our strong follower Glasna Jasna, recommended this site. Thanks.
Go to STOKTO.COM
GiveUpInternet.com – This is an internet-meme-look-like article at HalfAlien.com site which is currently closed.
ALIENS + HUMANS = ASIANS!
My theory is such that I suspect that Asians are the offspring of Aliens mating with Humans. I have many points to support my theory:
1. Asians have uncommonly (almost unearthly) almond-shaped eyes. Have you ever seen sketches what the consensus of alien encounters describe as Aliens? Hmmm…..
2. Why is it that Asians are so technologically advanced? Is it any wonder? Because they’re half Alien!
3. In sketches of Aliens, the majority of them are short in stature. Is it any mystery why Asians are short?
4. The Chinese alphabet does not seem to be of this world. The characters seem so advanced for such an ancient alphabet. Which brings me to #5…..
5. Asian languages, particularly Chinese and Japanese, are very terse, succinct dialects. They seem to have absolutely nothing to with the dialects of the Europe and Africa. They seem very other-worldly…
6. Why does Japanimation seem so damn cool? Because it’s futuristic-like. It’s got the Alien-tinge to it…. Even Hello Kitty and Kero Keropi seem sort of unearthly….
7. The first Human/Alien offspring was….Buddha.
8. How do you think Confucius knew so much???
9. Although American cars are like tanks, is it any wonder that Asian cars are so much more ergonomically friendly? Aliens are very streamlined folk….
10. Where do you think gunpowder was invented? Until it was put into the hands of the violent Europeans, the Chinese used it for fireworks (perhaps to simulate the spaceships of their forefathers…).
11. Chinese and Japanese architecture seems pretty other-worldly if you ask me…
12. Samurai warriors, existing hundreds of years ago, were pretty damn Stormtrooper-like, wouldn’t you say?
13. Sterotypically, why is it that Asians are so good at the universal language of math? One word: Abacus.
14. The only man-made object that can be seen in space is…. The Great Wall of China.
15. The martial arts: do you think that the human race could invent such a concise, succinct and streamlined form of defense all by themselves???? Which leads me to #16…
16. Did Bruce Lee really die? Or was he just taken back home?
17. If indeed, the Human race began in Africa; spread to Europe; then to Asia… why is it that Asians look so much more different from their African descendants? I mean, If you put a European next to an African, the differences make sense; Europeans are lighter-pigmented due to geographical changes. But what can be attributed for Asians’ almond shaped eyes (as in point #1)? China and Japan are not any northern than, say, Germany or England. People from India definitely appear to be of African descent… But once you go a little East… Boom! You suddenly have a sharp change in the Orient…
18. Have you ever seen the rice fields of Asia? Pretty symmetrical and evenly arranged, eh? Have you ever seen those mysterious Alien crop circles? Pretty symmetrical and evenly arranged, eh?
19. Why is it that until Marco Polo brought it back to the West, humans never thought of making the super-carbohydrate noodle they now call Pasta?
20. Speaking of Marco Polo, you always hear of these explorers from Europe. You never hear about Asian explorers sailing the high seas. Why? Maybe because their ancestors already explored them with their spaceships….
Mr. Glennard adds:
21. There are never any reports of Alien abductions in the Far East. Why? Because it’s stupid for aliens to abduct their own people!
22. It’s common knowledge that both China and Japan attempted to keep westerners out of their respective countries. But why? Was it merely because of racial bigotry? Probably not. The Chinese and the Japanese were just prepping their space vehicles for launch when all the while, the rest of the world used wooden rafts.
Dr. Shaw states:
23. While Western doctors tell you to pop a pill if you’re ill, the Chinese suggest having tiny little needles stuck into various “points” in your body. Just who do you think first mapped out the entire human body and practiced acupuncture? Gee, I wonder…
more from Villafranc:
24. Is it any wonder that Opium was one of the first addictive hallucinogens introduced to the western world? Perhaps some westerner accidentally decided to get high from it when it, in fact, was really fuel for Alien space crafts…perhaps…..
25. Have you ever noticed that the majority of Asian men, for some reason have less facial and body hair than their western counterparts? Fu Manchu is the classic example. As much as he wanted a goatee, all he could muster was a few strands from his chin and above his lip. Furthermore, perhaps Tibetans gave up altogether, thus the bald heads…”Hair? Hey, fuggedaboutit!”
26. The real reason behind the recent stock market crash in Asia had nothing to do with money. Aliens, by nature prefer to stay in the background in the scheme of Earthly things. Therefore, the Asian market was perhaps becoming “too” prosperous. The crash was necessary. The Aliens would rather be found out later than sooner….
27. Asians have adopted many Alien habits into their way of living. Chopsticks, while a very simple concept, is very difficult technique to master. Who do you think taught them how to actually use them? Also, if you took a wok and turned it upside down…it’s an all too familiar shape! Finally, is it any wonder why MSG puts you in a trance-like state after eating Chinese food? Maybe it was originally an Alien spice that was never really intended for Human consumption.
28. Even Alien/Human breeding can result in birth defects. Two words: Siamese Twins.
29. As a result of migrating from Northern Asia over the land-bridge (that used to exist) leading to Alaska, we all know that Native Americans, too, are of Alien descent. With their ornamental traditional garb and serene way of being…it’s very Oriental…hence, very Alien. Teepees are a crude, yet still, Alien-inspired design that was very streamlined in its function and purpose. Perhaps their skill in smoke-signalling was a direct result of Alien knowhow and ingeniuity. Finally, the uncanny regard which Native Americans have for the Earth’s natural resouces didn’t just come from nowhere
30. Asians are not bad drivers. It’s just that they’d be more at home navigating a spacecraft.
Mrs. Branching inspired:
31. After landing in Asia, the Aliens decided to search for Humans to mate with. This search led to Egypt, where the Egyptians were exposed to the Alien alphabet and also helped the Aliens build the Pyramids. After leaving Egypt with a few Humans to bring back to Asia, the Egyptians didn’t soon forget their Alien encounter. They documented it by way of hieroglyphics, where Egyptians went so far as trying to emulate their new friends by attempting to imitate their alphabet and portraying themselves as Alien-like, painting their eyes with black eye paint. Furthermore, where do you think the Egyptians learned to mummify bodies so well….
32. Godzilla: visionary japanese sci-fi thriller or homage to the alien equivalent of a house pet?
And Dr. Thompson adds:
32. The words “alien” and “asian” are a little too phonetically similar to merely be a coincidence…
Note: We can a lot of direct messages about this post. Many of the asians friends thinks that this post is offensive. I think this is just humorous piece of text and telling a lot of good things about asians from the different point of view. As you know, Give Up Internet is a geeky humor blog and we’re really serious about not being offensive. Thank you for your understanding.
You follow, they do. They market, you get fanboyyed and you become the free marketer of their great viral marketing campaigns. Steve makes fun of you. Because you suck. That’s why Apple rocks. Dont say i hate iPad. You know you want it. That’s why you really suck. It might really sucks to be you, loser. What a minute, i’m talking about Apple too. Bad news works for Apple isn’t it, so, iSuck too?
Viral marketing is going viral. And it’s becoming the most powerful marketing style. Iron Man 2 will be on theatres at 7 May. Nowadays you can see a lot of content about Iron Man in social media sites. Social media marketing is a great way to power up viral marketing. It’s a bit paranoid but it looks like many things (more than we guess) are being brought to us via viral marketers.
Hi i need some help i need a car. I just graduated from high school and im starting college and i need transportation back and forth to school. I used to have a car but my parents took it away once they kicked me out. They kicked me out becuase my baby sister got drunk and called me at 5 in the morning to come pick her up. when i got there she had like 30 of her friends with her and i told her i could not take all of them home. The car was too small and i had to get up for work in a 4 hours. She got mad and would not get in the car. I called my parents to talk since into her but they were sleeping. So after waiting 45 minutes i just left.. But later after i left my sister was arrested. My parents blamed me. I really dont understand what i did wrong. It was her fault if anything. But anyway i was kicked out and they took my car. I had some money i had been saving up but i had to use that for me to have a place to stay. But now i need me a car. I tried car dealerships but they are not willing to take a chance on me cuz i just turned 18 i have no credit or a down payment. Me having a job is just not enough. I have beeen trying craigslist for sometime but it was no luck. Most people will email me saying they think what im doing is stupid and that is fine. If you know a different way then please tell me. Cause trust me i would rather get a car in a way where im not doing sexual favors but my back is up against the wall right now. And i dont know you or your situation so i dont want you to be offended by this at all. I dont know how much you need the money from selling the car but i was hoping maybe u can help me with the car. If its just sitting in ur drive way and you wana get rid of it then help me. I dont expect to get it for free of course. I was hoping that maybe you would accept oral sex or to let me make some small payments(and just cuz im offering oral sex dont think im some dirty slut whose been with a million guys. Cuz i have not not and i been tested and i have no STDs). I know its far fetched but i need some help desperately. So if you can please help me. I mean if you want to just give me the car that would be AMAZING but nothing comes free in this world. So im willing to try and pay. The payments wont be much but if you give me time i swear i will pay it all. Let me know if you can help me if not then i understand thank you and have a blessed day. Oh yeah by the way i really dont have the 1000 dollars i just put that up to attract more people and check my email like 3 times and hour so please respond as much as u can
Oh and let me tell u now im not the police or anything and if u are then please dont email me. I dont want any trouble and im not trying to get anyone in trouble. I just need help. If you feel like what im offering is not good enough for what u have then dont bother to email me. But if u do then let me know
1dak.com, A Photo Blog Focused on Bringing Artistic and Humorous Photos. I strongly recommend you this nice looking photo blog.
The central evil in the universe today is people’s obsession with the internet. Or at least, I think so. Everywhere I go it seems that people are falling all over themselves, drooling at the new technology that lights up like magic before their eyes. I can imagine the scene in the corporate men’s washroom, with all those technology freaks standing around comparing the size of their hard drives. But no matter how many people tell me that the internet is the information highway to heaven, I can’t help but wonder, why?
Now, before I go any further I guess I’d better explain what the heck I’m doing writing an anti-internet article to be posted on the internet. Yes, it is hypocritical and no, it doesn’t make any sense. Maybe deep down my Catholic roots are trying to vent themselves by subconsciously driving me to try to secretly convert all of you internet junkies. Maybe I just feel sorry for all those readers who are being forced to log on for some assignment or work requirement (actually that – unfortunately – is my real reason for doing this. By some insane twist of fate this ranting and raving is actually a part of my job here).
Every argument I hear in favor of this seemingly amazing technology fails to convince me of it’s worth. Of course, I’m just like everyone else in that if something comes along that can make my life more enriched, interesting, and above all easier, I’m going to appreciate it. But I’m just not sure that the internet offers any of these things.
Let me point out, for example, one of what I consider to be the most misleading pro-internet arguments, namely that the internet is the key to free information for everyone. Excuse me, but the last time I checked nothing about the whole set-up was free. The internet, like any communication tool, is a service provided by a reasonably limited number of companies which charge users according to the amount of time they spend worshipping this lovely invention. And that’s for those of us who are fortunate enough to be able to shell out the three thousand bucks to get a computer in the first place. More than any other technology before it, the internet allows only the upper class of society to participate, making the whole “free information” spiel seem more than a little flawed.
Equally ridiculous is the idea that the future of education will involve link-ups from home computers with which students will communicate with teachers via the internet. How brilliant. The one thing that keeps most teenagers in school to begin with is the opportunity for daily social interaction with their peers. Ask any red-blooded teenager what it is they like about school and they will undoubtedly list friends, gym or art class, school clubs or teams, driver’s ed., or other such aspects of high school life which could never be delivered direct-to-you through the internet. Surely stripping school down to the barest, driest facts will lead to a sudden surge of interest in lessons by teenager around the world (I know I’m planning on joining this trend right after that date I have lined up with Brad Pitt).
The one convincing argument I’ve heard in favor of the internet claims that the internet will make those long frustrating trips to the library a thing of the past. The idea is that with millions of articles on everything from Moroccan snail population trends to the history of beets, future research will simply be a matter of searching the internet for facts, all from the comfort of your own living room. But even this argument can be easily shot down, as the information posted on the internet has virtually no proof of reliability. Any knucklehead with a computer and half a brain can write anything he or she wants on the internet.
Wait a minute. Any knucklehead with a computer and half a brain can write anything he or she wants on the internet. Maybe that’s the point, after all.
Urlesque made and awesome list; “Join Urlesque as we count down our picks for the top 100 viral videos that made the Internet such a wonderful place. These are the clips that make us laugh the most, inspired future videos, or even changed the web as we know it. See the full list below and click on the video titles to get a deeper look into each selection. Or, start from the beginning and peruse the entire list. Just wanna know what #1 is? You can do that, too.”
100. Bad Day
99. Scarlet Takes A Tumble
98. Roomba Driver (Cat on a Roomba)
97. Worst Day of My Life (Crying Idol Girls)
96. Lip Dub – ‘Flagpole Sitta’
95. Charlie the Unicorn
94. Winnebago Man
93. Leeroy Jenkins
92. Lightning Bolt
91. The Average Homeboy (Denny Blaze)
90. The Machine Is Us/ing Us
89. Corey Worthington Delaney
88. Gamer Freak Out (Angry German Kid)
87. Impossible Is Nothing (Worst Resume Ever)
86. Shiba Inu Puppy Cam
85. Dog Saves Injured Dog From Freeway
84. Trapped In An Elevator
83. All Your Base Are Belong To Us
82. Guinness World Record for Most T-Shirts Worn at One Time
81. Tron Guy
80. Bill O’Reilly Flips Out (We’ll Do It Live!)
79. iJustine’s iPhone Bill
78. Barack Roll
77. Nintendo 64 Kid
76. Kittens Inspired By Kittens
75. Look At That Horse
74. Tom Cruise’s Scientology Video
72. David Elsewhere
71. G.I. Joe Porkchop Sandwiches Mash-Up
70. Will It Blend?
69. Samwell, ‘What What (In The Butt)’
68. Wii Fit Girl
67. Little Superstar
66. Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture
65. Liam Sullivan’s ‘Shoes’
64. La Caida de Edgar (Edgar’s Fall)
63. Gellieman, ‘Aicha’
62. Peanut Butter Jelly Time
61. Inmate ‘Thriller’ Dance
60. Parry Gripp Remixes – ‘Cat Flushing the Toilet’
59. Avril Lavigne, ‘Girlfriend’
58. Whistle Tips With Bubb Rubb and Lil’ Sis
57. Breakdance Baby Kick
56. Cockroach vs. Weatherman
55. Potter Puppet Pals
From The Site; “Join the Fox News Boycott! Due to the extremely biased and partisan reporting by Fox News shows including The O’Reilly Factor, Hannity, Fox & Friends, etc., there is a strong public stance against supporting sponsors of these shows. FoxNewsBoycott.com urges you to not only boycott Fox News, its sponsors, but also any stores or restaurants that air the Fox News channel in their place of business.”
From The Site; “ConjugalHarmony.com is the oldest, most trusted name in conjugal dating. Since our humble beginnings in 1999 in a small, single room office in Englewood, California, to today, with a staff of more than twenty and offices in every state that permits conjugal visits. Our name is not just what we do, but it’s who we are.
Whether you’re in California, Connecticut, Mississippi, New Mexico, New York or Washington State, we can find just the right inmate for just the right marriage for just the amount of time you’re willing to dedicate. ”
From Us; This has to be a joke. And a joke that is not funny at all.
Need a mind-bsod? See this tutorial then.
Microsoft Comic Chat | Best Irc Client Ever – Awesome Microsoft Product
“MS Chat was the best MS product ever. I was very sad when it was discontinued. Occassionally in IRC channels I’d type #APPEARS AS TIKI just to see if anyone was still using it. said” JoSummertime
Too young to remember?
When I first learned to program on the web, Perl + CGI was the dominant platform. But by the time I was building my first websites for commercial use, PHP had taken over. Since then, PHP (as part of the LAMP stack) has really been the dominant development platform, at least in the free software and startup worlds. Through my platform choices, I have forced many people to learn PHP and to work with it on a regular basis. Some of them are probably still cursing my name, because – let’s face it – PHP can be pretty painful. As a language, it’s inelegant. Its object-orientation support is “much improved” – which is another way of saying it’s been horrendous for a long time. Writing unit tests or mock objects in PHP is an exercise in constant frustration.Read The Rest
I found an fun article at Retro Code
Earlier this month I spent a week in Cornwall without access to a computer. In the true spirit of recreational programmers everywhere, this didn’t curtail my programming activity. I managed to discover a number of solutions to the Semaphore Problem in Redcode while watching the waves!
jack47 , a brilliant Reddit user made an experiment to prove that reddit users click on any story if the story title includes “[PIC]” tag. Like any other trolled users, i also clicked on it.
Here is the story link; I’ll click on any link with the word pic in brackets [PIC] (it’s currently at the front page of reddit)
The funny thing is that it works.
1. Picture yourself near a stream in the mountains.
2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.
3. No one knows your secret place.
4. You are in total seclusion from the hectic place called the world.
5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
6. The water is crystal clear.
7. You can easily make out the face of the person you are holding under the water.
See. You’re smiling already.
Like it? See more nice stuff at Have Fun With English
i found an interesting article; “Why is it that Microsoft’s products keep mushrooming in size with each new release always requiring significantly more disk space and more processing power than the last time? They might claim it’s because of all the new features they add each time, but that’s only half the story. The new features and the increased processing requirements are designed to fuel the process of perpetual upgrades. This is Microsoft’s way of rubbing Intel’s back so that Intel will give Microsoft preferential treatment when it comes out with new chip specs. It’s also Microsoft’s way of convincing consumers that their newer product versions are better because they are so much bigger. Their new features are often superfluous but users must still deal with the overhead required by the features even though most will never use the features. ” Read The Rest
Here is another ss about that;
Ok guys, bloggers, World’s Biggest Media Empires, Newspapers even Tvs, we understand, we know that google tagged all web sites as “this site may harm your computer” for 15 minutes. This is not a huge concern. This is not a significant issue. It’s just waste of time.
I hate World Media Jumping all crap stories about Google
Give Up Internet has also covered this story. Yeah, even GiveUpInternet.com.
Instant Rimshot is tool to use at forums, conversations, hen Someone Say and Awesome, Funny or a Irony-Like-Irony.
Just Link to https://www.instantrimshot.com/
a man walked into a bar. OUCH!
person A : I think Google should buy Microsoft
person B: https://www.instantrimshot.com/
In here, person a is an idiot.
person A : … and you can also drink that milk lol
person B: https://www.instantrimshot.com/
In here, person made an awesome joke. (just imagine)
This is a bit old but fun. Page Rank of the domain is 6. This means that RimShot is very popular. So just use it, follow to crowd, become mundane, leave yourself to MTV’S wings, don’t think, also don’t act, eat as much as you can, die younger, feel the difference…
Especially, do not feign respect for technical incompetence.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
Oh, and we just set fire to your desktop.
BYTE editors are people who separate the wheat from the chaff, and then
carefully print the chaff.
To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
To err is human… to really foul up requires the root password.
Alan Turing thought about criteria to settle the question of whether
machines can think, a question of which we now know that it is about
as relevant as the question of whether submarines can swim.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo.
– Andy Finkel, computer guy
Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.
— Rich Kulawiec
As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
HOST SYSTEM NOT RESPONDING, PROBABLY DOWN. DO YOU WANT TO WAIT? (Y/N)
HOST SYSTEM RESPONDING, PROBABLY UP…
How much net work could a network work, if a network could net work?
I am a computer. I am dumber than any human and smarter than any administrator.
“Nuclear war can ruin your whole compile.”
— Karl Lehenbauer
Linux — the OS for the Renaissance Man
One picture is worth 128K words.
The UNIX philosophy basically involves giving you enough rope to
hang yourself. And then a couple of feet more, just to be sure.
Unix gives you enough rope to shoot yourself in the foot.
Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer (not advised)
are called hardware; those program instructions that you can only curse
at are called software.
— Levitating Trains and Kamikaze Genes: Technological
Literacy for the 1990’s.
The difference between Microsoft and ‘Jurassic Park’:
In one, a mad businessman makes a lot of money with beasts that should be
The other is a film.
The gates in my computer are AND, OR and NOT; they are not Bill.
“Nobody will ever need more than 640k RAM!”
— Bill Gates, 1981
“Windows 95 needs at least 8 MB RAM.”
— Bill Gates, 1996
“Nobody will ever need Windows 95.”
— logical conclusion
Windows 98: Not Plug & Play, but Bug & Pay!
Q: How many IBM CPU’s does it take to execute a job?
A: Four; three to hold it down, and one to rip its head off.
Those who can’t write, write manuals.
Don’t trouble trouble until trouble troubles you…
srv = xmlrpclib.Server(‘https://www.microsoft.com/’)
for employee in srv.MainDepartment.personnel(): srv.fireEmployee(employee)
— found in Python XML-RPC example
Q: What’s tiny and yellow and very, very, dangerous?
A: A canary with the super-user password.
System going down at 5 this afternoon to install scheduler bug.
Never trust a computer you can’t repair yourself.
“Yesterday as I was leaving the DLD Conference in Munich, Germany someone walked up to me and quite deliberately spat in my face. Before I even understood what was happening, he veered off into the crowd, just another dark head in a dark suit. People around me stared, then looked away and continued their conversation.
Generally at events people come up to me to talk about their startups. My reaction varies depending on how much sleep I’ve gotten and how many times I’ve been pitched in the previous hour. Sometimes I sit down and watch a demo. Sometimes I give them my card and ask them to contact me. Yesterday I was battling the flu, jetlag and little sleep, and had been battered for three days straight with product pitches from entrepreneurs desperate for press. The event was over and I was on my way back to my hotel. The last thing I wanted was another product pitch as I hurried to the car that would drive me to Davos for the next event. So when I saw this person approach me out of the corner of my eye, I turned away slightly and avoided eye contact. Sometimes that works. But in this case all it did was make me vulnerable to the last thing I expected.” Read The Rest From Here
image credit: by Thomas Hawk
Give Up Internet‘s Note: ” I’ll be taking most of February off from writing, and decide what the best future for me is while sitting on a beach somewhere far away from my iPhone and laptop.” says Arrington. “One day, every human will give up internet for a while”. says Give Up Internet.
GiveUpInternet.com | This is a Guest Post | I have worked from home for two years and if I ever go back to cubicle hell I will go insane. Here is why working from home is so awesome for me:
1) You save a f__k load of money. Not commuting saves gas money, means cheaper car insurance, and means your car lasts much longer and has far less maintenance on it.
2) Every meal you eat is healthy. I am in the best shape of my life because every meal I eat is a hot, freshly prepared, home cooked meal. This also saves lots of money. Same for coffee/tea, you make you own and save a lot of money.
3) You have a lot more time. Taking away the commute time and not putting on a monkey suit means you can get a proper nights sleep, wake up when your body tells you too, and still have lots of extra time.
4) You are more productive. You work when you are creative, not when a clock tells you too. Plus not having people around doesn’t distract you. No bullshit water cooler talk or office politics to put up with.
5) You learn more. Without people riding your ass you can read lots of wicked articles on programming reddit and play around with new technologies.
6) You can do other things. I go to bank, get groceries, go to the gym etc… and not worry. I can meet friends for lunch and go watch a movie with them. You also meet tons of awesome girls during the day; girls getting graduate degrees you bump into at the book store, cool chicks at yoga classes, hair stylists, bartenders, hooters girls, and MILFS are often out during the day.
7) You can also party during the week when it is cheaper. Many nightclubs have industry nights where people who work weekends like strippers, bartenders, retail, etc… great nights to go out because these people like to party. You can sleep in and not go to the office a hungover wreck.
8 ) Health. I don’t work in some dirty polluted sealed office. I work next to window with actual real sunshine, that I can open for fresh air. Also, you avoid the stress of the commute and office bullshit, and getting a good nights sleep make a huge difference. This will add years to your life.
Now that’s if you work for someone. If you work for yourself now add random snowboarding (seasons pass costs nothing for a weekday one), mountain biking, and amusement park adventures at your leisure. Also, you will be take home about another 8-12 g’s a year on top of your normal salary because of all the money you save and how efficient you can be. It costs money to work.
Now I should mention something, I have a lot of friends, and many of them are home during the day, do their own thing too, or have a business I can go hang out with them at, so loneliness is not an issue. Most of you are probably in the same boat and have people like that too, so it should work out for you. Try it, you will love it. If you have a job already, convince your boss, tell them there will be no distractions, and he won’t have to lease space for you. It’s a win-win. Remember, in the old days everyone worked from home, it’s only natural.
1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lit place in front of your computer.
2. Log onto MSN and ICQ (be sure to go on away!). Check your email.
3. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.
4. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some chocolate to help you concentrate.
5. Check your email.
6. Call up a friend and ask if he/she wants to go to grab a coffee. Just to get settled down and ready to work.
7. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lit place.
8. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.
9. Check your email.
10. You know, you haven’t written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade. You’d better write that letter now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate.
11. Look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.
12. Grab some mp3z.
13. Check your email. ANY OF THIS SOUND FAMILIAR YET?!
14. MSN chat with one of your friends about the future. (ie summer plans).
15. Check your email.
16. Listen to your new mp3z and download some more.
17. Phone your friend on the other floor and ask if she’s started writing yet. Exchange derogatory emarks about your prof, the
course, the college, the world at large.
18. Walk to the store and buy a pack of gum. You’ve probably run out.
19. While you’ve got the gum you may as well buy a magazine and read it.
20. Check your email.
21. Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren’t missing something truly worthwhile on TV.
22. Play some solitare (or age of legends!).
23. Check out giveupinternet.com
24. Wash your hands.
25. Call up a friend to see how much they have done, probably haven’t started either.
26. Look through your housemate’s book of pictures from home. Ask who everyone is.
27. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.
28. Check to see if bored.com has been updated yet.
29. Check your email and listen to your new mp3z.
30. You should be rebooting by now, assuming that windows is crashing on schedule.
31. Read over the assignment one more time, just for heck of it.
32. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise.
33. Lie face down on the floor and moan.
34. Punch the wall and break something.
35. Check your email.
37. 5am – start hacking on the paper without stopping. 6am -paper is finished.
38. Complain to everyone that you didn’t get any sleep because you had to write that stupid paper.
39. Go to class, hand in paper, and leave right away so you can take a nap.