Theory: Aliens + Humans = Asians?

GiveUpInternet.com – This is an internet-meme-look-like article at HalfAlien.com site which is currently closed. Article can be reached with archive.org link. It’a a great piece of stupid article for trolling idiots. It looks racist but i don’t think so. It glorifies Asians.

ALIENS + HUMANS = ASIANS!
1/5/98
My theory is such that I suspect that Asians are the offspring of Aliens mating with Humans. I have many points to support my theory:

1. Asians have uncommonly (almost unearthly) almond-shaped eyes. Have you ever seen sketches what the consensus of alien encounters describe as Aliens? Hmmm…..

2. Why is it that Asians are so technologically advanced? Is it any wonder? Because they’re half Alien!

3. In sketches of Aliens, the majority of them are short in stature. Is it any mystery why Asians are short?

4. The Chinese alphabet does not seem to be of this world. The characters seem so advanced for such an ancient alphabet. Which brings me to #5…..

5. Asian languages, particularly Chinese and Japanese, are very terse, succinct dialects. They seem to have absolutely nothing to with the dialects of the Europe and Africa. They seem very other-worldly…

6. Why does Japanimation seem so damn cool? Because it’s futuristic-like. It’s got the Alien-tinge to it…. Even Hello Kitty and Kero Keropi seem sort of unearthly….

7. The first Human/Alien offspring was….Buddha.

8. How do you think Confucius knew so much???

9. Although American cars are like tanks, is it any wonder that Asian cars are so much more ergonomically friendly? Aliens are very streamlined folk….

10. Where do you think gunpowder was invented? Until it was put into the hands of the violent Europeans, the Chinese used it for fireworks (perhaps to simulate the spaceships of their forefathers…).

11. Chinese and Japanese architecture seems pretty other-worldly if you ask me…

12. Samurai warriors, existing hundreds of years ago, were pretty damn Stormtrooper-like, wouldn’t you say?

13. Sterotypically, why is it that Asians are so good at the universal language of math? One word: Abacus.

14. The only man-made object that can be seen in space is…. The Great Wall of China.

15. The martial arts: do you think that the human race could invent such a concise, succinct and streamlined form of defense all by themselves???? Which leads me to #16…

16. Did Bruce Lee really die? Or was he just taken back home?

17. If indeed, the Human race began in Africa; spread to Europe; then to Asia… why is it that Asians look so much more different from their African descendants? I mean, If you put a European next to an African, the differences make sense; Europeans are lighter-pigmented due to geographical changes. But what can be attributed for Asians’ almond shaped eyes (as in point #1)? China and Japan are not any northern than, say, Germany or England. People from India definitely appear to be of African descent… But once you go a little East… Boom! You suddenly have a sharp change in the Orient…
I wonder…

18. Have you ever seen the rice fields of Asia? Pretty symmetrical and evenly arranged, eh? Have you ever seen those mysterious Alien crop circles? Pretty symmetrical and evenly arranged, eh?

19. Why is it that until Marco Polo brought it back to the West, humans never thought of making the super-carbohydrate noodle they now call Pasta?

20. Speaking of Marco Polo, you always hear of these explorers from Europe. You never hear about Asian explorers sailing the high seas. Why? Maybe because their ancestors already explored them with their spaceships….

1/6/98
Mr. Glennard adds:
21. There are never any reports of Alien abductions in the Far East. Why? Because it’s stupid for aliens to abduct their own people!

22. It’s common knowledge that both China and Japan attempted to keep westerners out of their respective countries. But why? Was it merely because of racial bigotry? Probably not. The Chinese and the Japanese were just prepping their space vehicles for launch when all the while, the rest of the world used wooden rafts.

Dr. Shaw states:
23. While Western doctors tell you to pop a pill if you’re ill, the Chinese suggest having tiny little needles stuck into various “points” in your body. Just who do you think first mapped out the entire human body and practiced acupuncture? Gee, I wonder…
more from Villafranc:

24. Is it any wonder that Opium was one of the first addictive hallucinogens introduced to the western world? Perhaps some westerner accidentally decided to get high from it when it, in fact, was really fuel for Alien space crafts…perhaps…..

25. Have you ever noticed that the majority of Asian men, for some reason have less facial and body hair than their western counterparts? Fu Manchu is the classic example. As much as he wanted a goatee, all he could muster was a few strands from his chin and above his lip. Furthermore, perhaps Tibetans gave up altogether, thus the bald heads…”Hair? Hey, fuggedaboutit!”

26. The real reason behind the recent stock market crash in Asia had nothing to do with money. Aliens, by nature prefer to stay in the background in the scheme of Earthly things. Therefore, the Asian market was perhaps becoming “too” prosperous. The crash was necessary. The Aliens would rather be found out later than sooner….

27. Asians have adopted many Alien habits into their way of living. Chopsticks, while a very simple concept, is very difficult technique to master. Who do you think taught them how to actually use them? Also, if you took a wok and turned it upside down…it’s an all too familiar shape! Finally, is it any wonder why MSG puts you in a trance-like state after eating Chinese food? Maybe it was originally an Alien spice that was never really intended for Human consumption.

28. Even Alien/Human breeding can result in birth defects. Two words: Siamese Twins.

29. As a result of migrating from Northern Asia over the land-bridge (that used to exist) leading to Alaska, we all know that Native Americans, too, are of Alien descent. With their ornamental traditional garb and serene way of being…it’s very Oriental…hence, very Alien. Teepees are a crude, yet still, Alien-inspired design that was very streamlined in its function and purpose. Perhaps their skill in smoke-signalling was a direct result of Alien knowhow and ingeniuity. Finally, the uncanny regard which Native Americans have for the Earth’s natural resouces didn’t just come from nowhere

30. Asians are not bad drivers. It’s just that they’d be more at home navigating a spacecraft.

Mrs. Branching inspired:
31. After landing in Asia, the Aliens decided to search for Humans to mate with. This search led to Egypt, where the Egyptians were exposed to the Alien alphabet and also helped the Aliens build the Pyramids. After leaving Egypt with a few Humans to bring back to Asia, the Egyptians didn’t soon forget their Alien encounter. They documented it by way of hieroglyphics, where Egyptians went so far as trying to emulate their new friends by attempting to imitate their alphabet and portraying themselves as Alien-like, painting their eyes with black eye paint. Furthermore, where do you think the Egyptians learned to mummify bodies so well….

32. Godzilla: visionary japanese sci-fi thriller or homage to the alien equivalent of a house pet?

And Dr. Thompson adds:
32. The words “alien” and “asian” are a little too phonetically similar to merely be a coincidence…

The next time someone says America doesn’t have a revenue problem, please direct them to this graph. [PIC]

The next time someone says America doesn’t have a revenue problem, please direct them to this graph. [PIC]

Jacob Barnett, 12, Has IQ Higher Than Einstein’s

Jacob Barnett isn’t your average 12-year-old. He has Asperger’s Syndrome and an IQ of 170, which is higher than Einstein’s. He’s currently working on an expanded version of the Theory of Relativity. Finally! Someone who can understand what Charlie Sheen is saying!

World’s total CPU power: one human brain

How much information can the world transmit, process, and store? Estimating this sort of thing can be a nightmare, but the task can provide valuable information on trends that are changing our computing and broadcast infrastructure. So a pair of researchers have taken the job upon themselves and tracked the changes in 60 different analog and digital technologies, from newsprint to cellular data, for a period of over 20 years.

The trends they spot range from the expected—Internet access has pushed both analog and digital phones into a tiny niche—to the surprising, such as the fact that, in aggregate, gaming hardware has always had more computing power than the world’s supercomputers.

The authors were remarkably thorough. For storage media, they considered things like paper, film, and vinyl records, and such modern innovations as Blu-ray discs and memory cards. To standardize their measurements across media, they used Shannon’s information theory to consider data storage in terms of optimally compressed bits. They also tracked technology, noting that in the year 2000, bits of video were compressed using cinepak, which was far less efficient than the current MPEG-4 format; calculations were adjusted rest is here

Bing Steals Google Results and Denies It

By now, you may have read Danny Sullivan’s recent post: “Google: Bing is Cheating, Copying Our Search Results” and heard Microsoft’s response, “We do not copy Google’s results.” However you define copying, the bottom line is, these Bing results came directly from Google.

I’d like to give you some background and details of our experiments that lead us to understand just how Bing is using Google web search results.

It all started with tarsorrhaphy. Really. As it happens, tarsorrhaphy is a rare surgical procedure on eyelids. And in the summer of 2010, we were looking at the search results for an unusual misspelled query [torsorophy]. Google returned the correct spelling—tarsorrhaphy—along with results for the corrected query. At that time, Bing had no results for the misspelling. Later in the summer, Bing started returning our first result to their users without offering the spell correction (see screenshots below). This was very strange. How could they return our first result to their users without the correct spelling? Had they known the correct spelling, they could have returned several more relevant results for the corrected query.

This example opened our eyes, and over the next few months we noticed that URLs from Google search results would later appear in Bing with increasing frequency for all kinds of queries: popular queries, rare or unusual queries and misspelled queries. Even search results that we would consider mistakes of our algorithms started showing up on Bing.

We couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going on, and our suspicions became much stronger in late October 2010 when we noticed a significant increase in how often Google’s top search result appeared at the top of Bing’s ranking for a variety of queries. This statistical pattern was too striking to ignore. To test our hypothesis, we needed an experiment to determine whether Microsoft was really using Google’s search results in Bing’s ranking.

We created about 100 “synthetic queries”—queries that you would never expect a user to type, such as [hiybbprqag]. As a one-time experiment, for each synthetic query we inserted as Google’s top result a unique (real) webpage which had nothing to do with the query. Below is an example:

To be clear, the synthetic query had no relationship with the inserted result we chose—the query didn’t appear on the webpage, and there were no links to the webpage with that query phrase. In other words, there was absolutely no reason for any search engine to return that webpage for that synthetic query. You can think of the synthetic queries with inserted results as the search engine equivalent of marked bills in a bank.

We gave 20 of our engineers laptops with a fresh install of Microsoft Windows running Internet Explorer 8 with Bing Toolbar installed. As part of the install process, we opted in to the “Suggested Sites” feature of IE8, and we accepted the default options for the Bing Toolbar.

We asked these engineers to enter the synthetic queries into the search box on the Google home page, and click on the results, i.e., the results we inserted. We were surprised that within a couple weeks of starting this experiment, our inserted results started appearing in Bing. Below is an example: a search for [hiybbprqag] on Bing returned a page about seating at a theater in Los Angeles. As far as we know, the only connection between the query and result is Google’s result page (shown above).

We saw this happen for multiple queries. For the query [delhipublicschool40 chdjob] we inserted a search result for a credit union:

The same credit union soon showed up on Bing for that query:

For the query [juegosdeben1ogrande] we inserted a page of hip hop bling jewelry:

And the same hip hop bling page showed up in Bing:

As we see it, this experiment confirms our suspicion that Bing is using some combination of:

• Internet Explorer 8, which can send data to Microsoft via its Suggested Sites feature
• the Bing Toolbar, which can send data via Microsoft’s Customer Experience Improvement Program

or possibly some other means to send data to Bing on what people search for on Google and the Google search results they click. Those results from Google are then more likely to show up on Bing. Put another way, some Bing results increasingly look like an incomplete, stale version of Google results—a cheap imitation.

At Google we strongly believe in innovation and are proud of our search quality. We’ve invested thousands of person-years into developing our search algorithms because we want our users to get the right answer every time they search, and that’s not easy. We look forward to competing with genuinely new search algorithms out there—algorithms built on core innovation, and not on recycled search results from a competitor. So to all the users out there looking for the most authentic, relevant search results, we encourage you to come directly to Google. And to those who have asked what we want out of all this, the answer is simple: we’d like for this practice to stop. via google blog

Demo of IE9 (Internet Explorer 9) – enhanced Bing Search Experience by Stefan Weitz.

Demo of IE9 (Internet Explorer 9) – enhanced Bing Search Experience by Stefan Weitz.

“Instant Elements” Song with Piano using Google Instant Search [VIDEO]