Awesome and Funny Technology Quotes | Windows Linux Provisions

Windows 95 computer Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign respect for technical incompetence.
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Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
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Oh, and we just set fire to your desktop.
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BYTE editors are people who separate the wheat from the chaff, and then
carefully print the chaff.
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To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
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To err is human… to really foul up requires the root password.
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Alan Turing thought about criteria to settle the question of whether
machines can think, a question of which we now know that it is about
as relevant as the question of whether submarines can swim.
– Dijkstra
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Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo.
- Andy Finkel, computer guy
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Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.
– Rich Kulawiec
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As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.
– Weisert
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Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
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HOST SYSTEM NOT RESPONDING, PROBABLY DOWN. DO YOU WANT TO WAIT? (Y/N)
HOST SYSTEM RESPONDING, PROBABLY UP…
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How much net work could a network work, if a network could net work?
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I am a computer. I am dumber than any human and smarter than any administrator.
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“Nuclear war can ruin your whole compile.”
– Karl Lehenbauer
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Linux — the OS for the Renaissance Man
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One picture is worth 128K words.
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The UNIX philosophy basically involves giving you enough rope to
hang yourself. And then a couple of feet more, just to be sure.
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Unix gives you enough rope to shoot yourself in the foot.
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Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer (not advised)
are called hardware; those program instructions that you can only curse
at are called software.
– Levitating Trains and Kamikaze Genes: Technological
Literacy for the 1990′s.
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The difference between Microsoft and ‘Jurassic Park’:
In one, a mad businessman makes a lot of money with beasts that should be
extinct.
The other is a film.
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The gates in my computer are AND, OR and NOT; they are not Bill.
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“Nobody will ever need more than 640k RAM!”
– Bill Gates, 1981
“Windows 95 needs at least 8 MB RAM.”
– Bill Gates, 1996
“Nobody will ever need Windows 95.”
– logical conclusion
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Windows 98: Not Plug & Play, but Bug & Pay!
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Q: How many IBM CPU’s does it take to execute a job?
A: Four; three to hold it down, and one to rip its head off.
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Those who can’t write, write manuals.
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Don’t trouble trouble until trouble troubles you…
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import xmlrpclib
srv = xmlrpclib.Server(‘http://www.microsoft.com/’)
for employee in srv.MainDepartment.personnel(): srv.fireEmployee(employee)
– found in Python XML-RPC example
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Q: What’s tiny and yellow and very, very, dangerous?
A: A canary with the super-user password.
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System going down at 5 this afternoon to install scheduler bug.
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Never trust a computer you can’t repair yourself.
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