4 New Funny Omegle Convos | Funniest Omegle Logs
connecting to server…
you’re now chatting with a random stranger. say hi!
stranger: greetings you delicious stranger
you: thanks
stranger: that wasn’t a compliment
you: i know
stranger: how was your day?
stranger: did you meet tim at the mall?
you: yeah
stranger: that guy is such a douche
stranger: don’t you think?
you: yeah i think so too
stranger: i know you are a spambot
stranger: bye forever
connecting to server…
stranger: hi
stranger: a/s/l
you: tell me a story
stranger: once upon a time
stranger: there was a stranger
stranger: he said
stranger: f_ck you
connecting to server…
looking for someone you can chat with. hang on.
you’re now chatting with a random stranger. say hi!
you: you walk into a room and see a flash what do you do?
stranger: turn around and walk out
you: cowardice.
you: you lost the game.
connecting to server…
looking for someone you can chat with. hang on.
you’re now chatting with a random stranger. say hi!
stranger: hi
you: you walk into a room and see a flash what do you do?
stranger: smile
you: unable to see anything, you smiled. someone suddenly thrust something like a microphone in your hands, then walked back into the room. what you do?
stranger: speak
you: you spoke.
you: as the flash thins off, you notice several beaten down and a few dead people in the room, and a staircase going down.
you: you look at your hand and see a small blunt weapon covered in blood.
you: you started to hear police sirens. what you do?
stranger: run
you: you started running. two police officers saw you. they drew their guns and started shooting. what you do?
stranger: ninja
you: you try to ninja your way out. a bullet pierced through your forehead. h_adshot, b_tch.
you: you lost the game.
stranger: lawl
Thanks M. Tekin for the logs
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Question to discuss:
what’s your age and gender (age group survey)
Stranger 2: 17 f
Stranger 1: 29m
Stranger 2: is that all lol
Stranger 1: ha ha
Stranger 2: Thats a really shitty question
Stranger 1: I got a question about truth or dare, that was a fun question
Stranger 2: Ohhh how does that work??
Stranger 2: That sounds fun
Stranger 1: you just play, i guess it on an honer system
Stranger 1: since you cant see eachother
Stranger 1: it’s fun, but only if you are willing to go through and do the challenges
Stranger 2: Hmm yeah i agree, truth would be better thoughi think personally
Stranger 2: Butthats a good one!
Stranger 2: but thats**
Stranger 1: butt hats
Stranger 1:
Stranger 2: Rofl
took me a minute to realise!
Stranger 1: also I got a question once, that was, something like, “mind if I masturbate, while you two cyber”
Stranger 2: Haha omg I havent got one like that (yet) which is surprising actually i only got one about fantasies
Stranger 2: and idnt even get to write
Stranger 2: people are toopolitical i think
Stranger 2: too political** my spacebars stuffed
Stranger 1: so they can be fun!
Stranger 1: but yeah people are asking a lot of super serious questions
Stranger 1: that’s not so much fun
Stranger 2: And alot of racial questions which are super awkward lol some are just straight out stupid
Stranger 2: and this one is boring
Stranger 1: hmmm I usually just do the video chat on here, but this is fun
Stranger 2: Id be scared I knew someone! haha
Stranger 1: this one boring, so yeah third party viewer, think of a better question next time
Stranger 2: Oh yeah forgot about them haha
Stranger 1: there are a lot of people out there, the odds that you know someone isnt really good
Stranger 2: I guess Im just paranoid Illdosomethingand someone will know me
Stranger 1: yeah its not just us in here
Stranger 1: what would you do?
Stranger 1: what could be so damning that you would worry about your identity ?
Stranger 2: Im kinda the “go where it takes you” person. I just hate awkward situations to be honest
Stranger 2: Kindalike when Im shitat a game
Stranger 1: awkward situations are only awkward until you push passed that
Stranger 1: when you are “shitat”?
Stranger 2: shit at** yes i guess I fear people wont like who I am
Stranger 2: Stupid I know
Stranger 1: i’m sure you are wonderful
Stranger 1: we all are
Stranger 1: afterall
Stranger 1: everyone is wonderful in their own right
Stranger 2: Positive thinking
If only it were true
Stranger 2: I dont agree
Stranger 2: There are horrible people out there
Stranger 1: yeah I dont agree with everyone, but I believe that everyone deserves a chance
Stranger 2: I believe most do not everyone
Stranger 2: Some people are sick minded
Stranger 1: who knows, maybe under it all, they too are a super great person, just scared and hurt
Stranger 2: Im talking about murders etc?
Stranger 2: Not general people
Stranger 1: me to
Stranger 1: too
Stranger 2: Really? you believe that about most people even murders rapists etc
Stranger 1: murders are people who have made a lot, A LOT of bad choices in their lives
Stranger 1: they all start off as beautiful babies
Stranger 1: fresh starts… who knows
Stranger 2: I belive once pushed past that point, even death for them is too easy. Babies are different, they dont have such capabilities
Stranger 1: you are jaded
Stranger 1:
Stranger 1: wanna talk about that?
Stranger 2: What do you mean
Stranger 1: you seem like you have a reluctancy to be forgiving
Stranger 2: Ahh, I do though
Stranger 2: I am too forgiving
Stranger 1: of course, murders and rapist are extreme instances
Stranger 2: Unless you do not deserve it, in which yes I am talking abot extreme instances
Stranger 2: I have been affected by murder
Stranger 2: I see what it does
Stranger 2: And let me tell you I dont believe they deserve even death
Stranger 1: I’ve been through combat and I understand what actual Hate is
Stranger 2: By combat do you mean war?
Stranger 1: yes
Stranger 2: Are you in the army or something?
Stranger 1: I’ve looked into eyes that only could look back at me with hate and discontent
Stranger 2: I have seen small parts of that kindof hatred
Stranger 1: marine corps
Stranger 2: So your a marine and yet your so forgiving, I do not understand
Stranger 2: My partner is in the army
Stranger 1: even those hateful eyes, I believe could be turned
Stranger 2: And I find it so hard to understand the hatred
Stranger 2: But yet here you are completely different
Stranger 1: you cant hold on to anger and hatred or it will certainly destroy you
Stranger 2: I agree, But it can also help you
Stranger 2: You need to be angry and show pain beofre you can move on
Stranger 2: Its closure I guess
Stranger 1: hmmm , think if you used love instead of hate to fuel your intentions, how much more could you do
Stranger 2: Depends in what instances you use that love instead of hate
Stranger 2: So you have a family?
Stranger 1: you have to let go of hate and pain, or it will be a destructive force and destroy every thing good about you
Stranger 1: i’ve been there
Stranger 1: hate will always be sub par to love
Stranger 1: I do have family,
Stranger 1: a pug named winston, and a shorkie named felicity
Stranger 2: Hmm interesting
Stranger 2: But no kids or wife?
Stranger 1: these two can be a handful
Stranger 1: I have lots of nieces and nephews
Stranger 2: Well maybe when you have that family of your own someday you mayunderstand what I am saying
Stranger 2: The love you have for them is far beyond anything
Stranger 1: hmm I wonder what the secret 3rd party silent chatters is thinking
Stranger 2: They are probably think shit all i asked is age and gender
Stranger 2: lol
Stranger 1: haha
Stranger 2: My pet on WoW is named winston btw
Stranger 2: lol
Stranger 1: nice
Stranger 1: well im off
Stranger 1: this was super
Stranger 2: Bye
55
You’re now watching two strangers discuss your question!
Question to discuss:
So, Evolution or Creationism ? Discuss!
Stranger 2: Evolution.
Stranger 2: and that’s all the discussion you’ll ever get
Stranger 2: go to TED
Stranger 2: and have a blast
Stranger 2: and stranger isn’t responding
Stranger 1: im blonde
Stranger 2: awesome.
Stranger 1: do you have a penis
Stranger 2: as I said. Evolution.
Stranger 2: two, actually.
Stranger 2: mine and my boyfriend’s
Stranger 1: whats evalutions
Stranger 1: you gay?
Stranger 2: person who asked the question (I hope you’re satisfied)
Stranger 2: yeah, I’m homo
Stranger 1: yayy i love homo theres funnyy
Stranger 2: I’m smart and sexy before funny
Stranger 2: and sarcastic, sorry
Stranger 2 has disconnected
You’re now watching two strangers discuss your question!
Question to discuss:
Can murder ever be justified?
Stranger 2: sometimes
Stranger 1: yeah
Stranger 2: if jb is the one who is murdered
Stranger 1 has disconnected
Stranger 1 was obv a justin beiber fan
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
)))))))))))
Question to discuss:
girls: if you were a hot secretary and your boss came to you right before 5 o clock one day and said want to get a weeks pay for free and slapped your ass would you comply?
You: been there, done that..
You:
Stranger: im a boss for a company
You: hey boss
You: about that paycheck
Stranger: michelle?
You: I got that underwear you told me to wear
You: roaarrr
Stranger: ooh
You: that’s my name, don’t forget it
Stranger: aww yeah
You: i’m REAAllY going to work for my moneh
Stranger: you bettah
You: yeaaah..
You: let me undress and..
Stranger: take it like a wall
You: *pulls out a gun;manly voice*
You: SUCK MY DICK
You: OR i’LL BLOW YOU BRAINS
Stranger: dodges matrix style
You: damn it
Stranger: INCEPTIONINCEPTIONINCEPTIONINCEPTIONINCEPTION
You: &out of bullets*
Stranger: eats gun
You: *it’s super effective*
You: *i jump on the window”
Stranger: i push u out
You: *death appears, it’s super effective as well*
You: g-byew cruel world
Stranger: wild stranger fainted
You: *weird boner appears*
You: stranger explodes
Stranger: …
You: EARTH EXPLODES
You: damin it…
Stranger: super effective
You: *god: i fucked up again*
You: well.. blame the jews
Stranger: …
Stranger: no
Stranger: racist
Stranger: im a jew
You: sorry
You:
You: akward
Stranger: best be brah
You: blame the black ?
You: don;t tell me you are a black jew
Stranger: no
Stranger: im a black jew
You:
You: =))))))))))))))))))))))0
You: LOOOL
You: ok..
You: blame the asians ?
You: FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU-
You: don’t tell me-…
Stranger: im a black jewish asian
You: shit…
You have disconnected.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: m 20 horny;)
You: you’re from horny? where is that? lol
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Question to discuss:
will you ever suck a cock? also state ur genderStranger: never.
You: no
Stranger: *
You: im male
You: lol
Stranger: i’m human
You: never
You: suck anything
Stranger: don’t say never ^^
You: u said
You: dumb
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Chating
Stranger: hey
Stranger: f ?
You: Stranger: hey
Stranger: asl?
You: You: fuck you
Stranger: sounds good to me
You: mother fucking shit smearer.
You: why do you smell your own shit to get high? That’s fucking gross YOU’RE fucking gross.
You: Everything is your fucking fault! the sooner you admit it the sooner you can get well.
Stranger: did not know they have intrnet in the psychiatric ward…
You: Of course you know they do. how else are YOU chatting?
Stranger: dude I am napoleon, so show some respect
You: You’re a little runty fucktard who LOST the war, and who can’t even jack off because your hand is screwed up? Honestly, you need to find better role models to assume, when your mind goes all schizo like that. Honestly, show some respect for yourself.
Stranger: Now you totaly shattered my self-perception…I thin I’m gona cry…;(
You: Reality is a scary bitch, but this is wonderful that you’re making the first step to your recovery.
Stranger: But I still need medication…how about you give me some of that shit your obviously sniffing?
You: The reality is that you killed your family and you killed many people, and assumed this “mental illness”. I’m the doctor here, I’m only trying to help you.
You: I GIVE meds I don’t take them.
You: You’re the fucker with the diseased brain. All because your mother was a crack mom.
Stranger: Dude I supressed this shit for a reason…you bringing all this back up is seriously messing my mind up…
You: I’m just trying to help you purge this.
Stranger: I appreciate it
You: Good, you’ll feel better once you puked this emotional shit up. You really need to blame your mother for tieing you up and raping you. Like Coraline jone’s mother did to Coraline. Then you’ll be able to enjoy life again.
You: So you may begin this session of purging.
You: You may begin at any time.
Stranger: But what about my father raping your sweet little ass? I still ave those memories of you crying in our basement…
You: no I’m afraid your delusional state of mind, misrepresented these memories. YOU were actually raping your little brother.
You: Then your mother tied you up and started to beat you…. Then you killed them.
Stranger: sounds about right…so dude, i’m hungry, how about the food here?
You: Only if you show some cooperation with your treatment tonight.
You: So begin your confession.
You: Then we can give you some nice brownies, and give you a cookie
Stranger: Well it all started when i raped my twin sister in our mothers womb…
You: And how does this make you feel?
Stranger: Feel? I don’t feel anything…
You: Ah ha so you are suffering from sociopathy. Excellent we shall attach electrodes to your testicles…..
Stranger: Been there, done that…
You: But were you treated with the voltage that makes your own feces come out your eyes?
You: We’ll be trying that with you.
You: And if you so decide to smear shit on your face again like you always so… we will once again put you in solitary, in the cold room again.
Stranger: Alright…well nice talking with you, but PEter Pan invited me to Neverland..gott go…
You: good night fucktard.
Stranger: can you summarise it for me?
You: I’m just trolling. Are you this stupid you can’t read?
Stranger: no
Stranger: just too lazy to read it all
You: And your stupidity will further my griefing tonight. Thanks for letting me use you.
Stranger: theres a difference between laziness and stupiditiy
Stranger: /me tips my hat to you
Stranger: your welcome sir.
Stranger: well sir/m’am
You: It’s all you are good for. Letting people use you.
Stranger: i wish you luck in you trolling.
You: You have no friends, they all use you.
Stranger: lol…..
You: I also like fapping to Pipi Longstocking.
Stranger: wow
Stranger: haven’t heard of her
Stranger: since…
Stranger: grade 6
Stranger: wow
You: And Coraline….. jones.
Stranger: shit…. longstocking.. I swear that was in grade 5 or 6
You: I love her sexy red hair. I love the way red heads smell. They smell and taste like battery acid.
Stranger: ur almost good for a chat…
Stranger: not quite
Stranger 1: fuck me deep stranger
Stranger 1: hard and fast
Stranger 1: lol
Stranger 2: m or f?
Stranger 1: m
Stranger 2: lol
Stranger 2: i’m f
Stranger 2: i’ll fuck you
Stranger 2: deep
Stranger 2: and hard and fast
Stranger 1: thatd be kinda wrong?
Stranger 2: but
Stranger 2: you like it that way
Stranger 1: id prefer to fuck you hard, fast and deep tbh
Stranger 1: im a giver, not a taker
Stranger 2: well
Stranger 2: since normally i am a giver
Stranger 2: i guess thats ok
Stranger 2: age?
Stranger 1: 18 you?
Stranger 2: 16
Stranger 1: from?
Stranger 2: new york you?
Stranger 1: ireland
Stranger 1: fuckings gonna be impossible…
Stranger 2: what’s your craziest sex story
Stranger 1: it involves oil
Stranger 1: lots of oil
Stranger 1: youu?
Stranger 2: it involves a married couple and money
Stranger 1: i like your style
Stranger 2: lol
Stranger 2: my friends parents paid me to have a 3 way with them
Stranger 1: whaaaat? :O
Stranger 2: yeah they gave me $400
Stranger 1: jesus…i respect you
Stranger 2: it was the greatest fuck of my life too
Stranger 1: in what way?
Stranger 2: well they tied me to their bed and did a lot of kinky shit that i’ve never done mefore
Stranger 2: before’
Stranger 1: like what? :O
Stranger 2: well it was the first time a girl ate me out and i ate out a girl
Stranger 2: and had sex in my butt
Stranger 1: wow sounds pretty good
Stranger 2: lol
Stranger 2: it was kind of painful
Stranger 1: did you like it?
Stranger 2: yeah
Stranger 2: his mom fingered me while his dad fucked my butt
Stranger 1: does your friend know?
Stranger 2: lol no
Stranger 2: i can’t tell him
Stranger 1: shit like that never happens in ireland
Stranger 1: fuck sake
Stranger 2: it was also the first time i ever ate cum
Stranger 1: did you like that?
Stranger 2: i liked it all
Stranger 2: i never been so wet in my life
Stranger 1: did you squirt?
Stranger 2: yeah
Stranger 1: dammmmmmn
Stranger 1: i wanna see you
Stranger 2: lol
Stranger 2: you live in ireland
Stranger 1: yeeeah
Stranger 2: i must say
Stranger 2: if you have sex
Stranger 2: have it tied up
Stranger 2: its awesome
Question to discuss:
I am Dave! Yognaut, and I have the balls!Stranger: … Huh?
You: i have the stick… lets play golf
Stranger: The first exclamation point is confusing me.
Stranger: I have the… hole? Eww, no.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Question to discuss:
WHY YO NO STAY AND DISCUSS ? Y U DISCONNECT IN THE FIRST SECOND ?
Stranger: don’t shout
You: bitch please
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Stranger: Hi
You: Ricky is that you?
You: Ricky?
Stranger: Omg! bobby?
You: Ricky! I’ve been looking for you.. RICKY?!
Stranger: Its me boby its me ricky!
You: hello Ricky?!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: tumblr?
You: Luke, I am your father.
Stranger: i wish that was actually my dad
Stranger: i dont have any contact with mine
You: I know right
Stranger: he could be dead for all i know:)
You: you’d rather have a dad that cuts off your arm and kills people and wears a mask and breathes wierd?
Stranger: umh ,no
You: then you don’t want Darth Vader to be your dad
Stranger: oh:(
Stranger: i’ve never seen star wars
You: lol me neither
You: but i know
You: CUZ I AM GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stranger: im prayin
You: oh ya, watcha sayin’ dude?
Stranger: you should know, you’re god
You: Ya you actually have to talk out loud for me to here you.
You: to my face, my child
Stranger: come ere then
You: right here right now man
You: just on omegle
You: confess, son
Stranger: god has internet?
You: oooooh ya
Stranger: halle-fucking-luya
You: i spend like half my life… my eternal life… on the internet man
Stranger: woman
You: hmmm… indeed
You: what about her?
Stranger: shes hawt
You: and what is this womans name, my chilc?
You: *child
Stranger: chilc
You: sorry, this is embarasin
You: i never went to kindergarten
You: my mother hates it
You: she thinks i should go back cuz i have forgotten to spell
You: after all these years
You: shame…
You: after all these CENTURIES!!!
You: ERA’S
You: whats the word i am looking for?
You: a little help here
Stranger: time
You: MILLENIUMS!!!
You: think i spelled that wrong
Stranger: how many of them
You: milleniums of milleniums of milleniums
You: uncountable years
You: eternal years
You: eternal milleniums
You: FOREVER!!!
Stranger: yes.
Stranger: im older than you
You: WHAT!?!?!?!?
You: and WHO are YOU?
You: my child
Stranger: your mom
You: oh DAMN
You: i knew we would reach this point
You: i am sorry mother
You: i should not have failed kinder garten
You: i must add however
You: that you failed me
You: cuz you were my teacher and all
Stranger: your grounded for a millenium for lying
You: oh shit
You: what did i lie about this time?
Stranger: make that two, for swearing
Stranger: KINDERGARTEN
You: oh jesus christ
Stranger: DO NEVER USE MY GRANDSONS NAME IN THAT WAY
You: Oh My God!!!
You: Oh Mother of Jesus!!!
Stranger: oh, marys not a prostitute, so dont go getting randomers pregnant again
Stranger: or i’ll add to the bible the size of your penis
You: hey that was not me
You: that was the damn Holy Spirit remember?
Stranger: you ARE the holy spirit
You: WE are the holy wpirit
You: *spirit
You: you know “the father, the son, and the holy ghost”
Stranger: thats all i’ll ever be, a ghos
You: the Trinity
Stranger: t
You: ring a bell?
Stranger: nah, sold them for fucking weddings
You: what????
You: MOTHER!
Stranger: bells
Stranger: IN YOUR HOLY LITTLE GOD HOUSES
You: Sorry ma, i have to go and save some lady from drowning
You: she doesn’t deserve to die
You: well actually she does
You: but not yet
You: you know?
You: anyway, nice talking to you ma
Stranger: YOU’RE GROUNDED
You: i’ll talk to you again in another couple of milleniums
You: bye bye
You have disconnected.
STEVE IS THAT YOU? MY PENIS FELL OFF! HELP!
Stranger 1: oh my
Stranger 2: Ouch..
Stranger 1: this is quite the situation
Stranger 2: Indeed!
Stranger 1: what do you suggest we do?
Stranger 2: Who is steve and how did it fall off?
Stranger 2: hmm
Stranger 1: he can’t answer. i suppose we’ll never know
Stranger 2: Glue it back on
Stranger 1: genuis!
Stranger 2:
Stranger 1: you are a problem solver sir!
Question to discuss:
Whats the weirdest place you’ve fucked?
Stranger 2: A pool with 15 people in it.
Stranger 2: nonono
Stranger 2: In the living room while her mom was watching a movie.
Stranger 2: nonono school auditorium… idk D:
Stranger 1: friends parents room with my friens sister
Stranger 2: I think the living room was the most dangerous fuck :3
Stranger 1: i agree
Stranger 2: Pool was the most open
Stranger 2: friends sister was the most badass :3
Stranger 1: or that time in the gym under some matts
Stranger 2: actually auditorium is jail time… so auditorium was the most dangerou
Stranger 1: yeah
Stranger 1: or with my teacher
Stranger 1: on her desk
Stranger 2: Lies D:
Stranger 2: lies lies lies
Stranger 1: no im serious
Stranger 2: I don’t believe you one bit.
Stranger 1: no lies
Stranger 2: Pics or it didn’t happen
Stranger 1: what
Stranger 1: check it out on google gym teacher fucks student
Stranger 2: I don’t believe you at all, and I’ma find some fat dude fucking an asian watch o.o
Stranger 1: what
Stranger 2: Most fun place is in the shower or pool :3
Stranger 1: im a dude
Stranger 1: my sister is a lesbian
Stranger 2: lol my sister is a whore
Question to discuss:
You are both ninjas on a secret mission, not very good ninjas, you just caught caught by security in a bank vault. quick what do you do ninja 1 and ninja 2
Stranger 2: NINJA VANISH
Stranger 1: kill myself cause I was discovered
Stranger 2 has disconnected
Question to discuss:
You are both ninjas on a secret mission, not very good ninjas, you just caught caught by security in a bank vault. quick what do you do ninja 1 and ninja 2
Stranger 2: fuck it
Stranger 1: why are ninjas in a bank vault
Stranger 1: ?
Stranger 1: they should be doing something cooler
Stranger 1 has disconnected
You’re now watching two strangers discuss your question!
Question to discuss:
You got insanely drunk last night at a party and you wake up with a sex change… whats your reaction? and what do you do about it?
Stranger 1: COOL A PENIS
Stranger 1: THAT I CAN BARELY USE
Stranger 1: SWEET
Stranger 1 has disconnected
Question to discuss:
You have the oppurtunity to be the opposite sex for 24 hours, what is the first thing you do as a new guy/girl and what do you now look like?
Stranger 2: go on omegle and answer this question saying ” it happened”
Stranger 2 has disconnected