I’m From CIA | Funny Omegle Conversations [PIC]
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: i’m from cia
You: and i fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Stranger: ok
You: sites.
You: stranger? is this your real name lol omg that was really funny isn’t it buddy?
More Funny Omegle Conversations Here
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: Hi
You: Come closer young padawan.
Stranger: Certainly Obi wan
You: Tell everyone I’m here.
Stranger: Darth may try to get you
Stranger: I can not risk it
You: You’re wise, padawan.
Stranger: I have learnt well
You: You have indeed.
Stranger: Maybe to well *shwing*
Stranger: Sorry fly was undone
You: I think Darth’s after me.
Stranger: He wants to put his force in your darkside
Stranger: You must hide
You: He might want to do that.
Stranger: I know I do
Stranger: I am sorry master, that was uncalled for
Stranger: It’s just, your darkside has been quite appealing since I walked in on you in the shower
Stranger: I…I saw your Yoda
Stranger: I am sorry
You: My..Yoda? Padawan, I’ve played with your lightsaber when you sleep…I’m deeply sorry.
Stranger: So thats why it was red
Stranger: I thought I had circummed to the darkside
Stranger: I guess I guess circumed.
You: Going back a little…did you like my yoda?
Stranger: I did, but why was it green master?
You: It was a green light…your green light…it was saying GO
Stranger: Oh, I am saddened by this fact
Stranger: My chance has passed
Stranger: Tommorow I am off to the Death star to kill Darth
You: Do you think you’re able to do it?
Stranger: I shall
Stranger: Knowing if I come back alive your Yoda will be waiting
You: My yoda will be green and waiting
You: May the force be with you.
Stranger: And you.
You: Farewell…
Stranger: For now.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi, horny girl?
You: is that what you’re looking for?
You: i’m 14
You: but i can be horny
You: and i’m a girl
You: i’m horny with my boyfriend
You: well…last night I was
You: are you sexy?
Stranger: yes
You: how old?
Stranger: 16
You: horny?
Stranger: yess very
You: looking for me?
Stranger: mhm
You: what do you want to do to me?
Stranger: talk dirty to me or send me pictures
You: you’re the man
You: how about you start
Stranger: how about we roleplay
You: alright
Stranger: what roles?
You: you’re the man
You: you tell me
Stranger: ok you be the sister and ill be the brother
You: ?
You: incest?
You: sounds hot
Stranger: ok
Stranger: *walks into the house* hey sis how was school
You: not bad, what’s that in your pants?
Stranger: nothing lol
You: not role playing for a second
You: do you have a boner?
Stranger: kinda
You: are you stroking it?
Stranger: mhm
You: that’s pretty gross since I’m a 20 year old dude! HAAHAHAHHAHAHA….faggot
Stranger: Share a story
You: um… i died last week
Stranger: Oh shit, for real?
Stranger: How was it like?
You: well, the story goes like thi…
You: I saw chuck norris deflect a bullet away from JFKs head with his fist
You: and my head exploded in sheer amazement
Stranger: Chuck norris makes my vagina wet
Stranger: I want him to live there
You: haha
Stranger: Wouldnt that be awesome?
Stranger: Best rape protection ever
You: fisrtly, no i do not know what that would be like, for i am a dude
You: secondly, yes that would be awesomely protective of your uterus
You: still there?
Stranger: Yes
Stranger: I am at work
Stranger: So I got interupted
You: haha makes sence
Stranger: You should get a vagina
Stranger: And try having him live there
You: …interesting thought
You: I will look into that
found this on http://www.lolmegle.com -more funny stuff there
You: hii
Stranger: asl?
Stranger: hey
You: grr just got out of a convo with a frustrating racist.
You: i hate racism.
You: 19/f/sydney
You: you?
Stranger: hehe me too
Stranger: 25 male norway
You: you know what I hate more than racism
You: ?
Stranger: no?
You: dirty norwegians.
You have disconnected.
I like the convo above me.
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: g’day
Stranger: I’m breaking up with you.
You: o no
Stranger: O yes.
You: sad face
You: I can change
Stranger: It’s too late for that now.
You: I swear nothing happened
Stranger: I don’t believe you.
Stranger: Nay, I CAN’T believe you.
You: I’ll stop going the bathing houses
Stranger: It won’t matter. My bags are already packed and the kids are at my mother’s house.
You: well I’m keeping house
Stranger: Fine with me. I’m moving into a condo down by my brother’s house in Florida.
You: that’s fine with me
You: let me show you the front door
Stranger: I think I know where that is, thank you.
You: I wasn’t asking
Stranger: Does it look like I care what you said?
You: you know you do
Stranger: Ah, but I don’t.
You: No matter how far you run no matter where you go
Stranger: Except if I run to Florida.
You: And you your brother, have always been a bit to close
Stranger: Are you saying what I think you’re saying?
You: I don’t even know what I’m saying (38 hours without sleep), but I’m implying what you think
Stranger: Thought so. My brother and I are family, MY family is close. God knows what went wrong with YOUR family.
You: Well after my parents’ divorce, and my mother and brother moving away together
You: you know my family history,
Stranger: Unfortunately I do. Several years of shit hitting the fan.
You: and feet
Stranger: Mhm.
You: I know about your relationship with our apple man
Stranger: Oh? Took you awhile to figure it out.
You: I always knew
Stranger: If you always knew about that, I assume you knew about our neighbour as well?
You: and the paper boy,
Stranger: Mhm. And the cashier, the banker, the accountant, and the landlord?
You: Fred? Fred as well
Stranger: Ah yes, Fred. He was the best.
You: That bastard
Stranger: Funny. He said the same thing about you.
You: call me a fool but I still love you, (places hands on shoulder)
Stranger: Unfortunately, dear, the feeling is no longer mutual. (Brushes hand off)
You: what are you going to our tell your kids?
Stranger: The truth. I left you and they will probably never see you again. I’m sure they won’t mind, they never liked you much anyway.
You: if you didn’t tell such lies
Stranger: Hun, they were the ones who persuaded me to leave you in the first place. If anyone, it’s the kids you should thank for this.
You: And so I should, for now I can see you for what you truly are
Stranger: And what would that be?
You: I treat you like a queen, and what do you do commit adulatory
Stranger: And I enjoyed every minute of it.
You: Just leave, even I deserve better, I know I have been distant over the years
You: But that’s because, I thought I didn’t deserve you I was wrong
Stranger: Whatever. And you’ll never find someone like me again, whether that be good or bad. You can’t deny we didn’t have good times together.
You: Yes we did, but in time they will slowly fade like our love
Stranger: Hopefully.
You: a man who doesn’t wear scares upon his heart is a shell of a man
You: I must thank you, for filling my life with such traits
Stranger: Well you’re welcome….I think. Oh, and you’re welcome to see the children any time you’re down in Florida. With my consent, of course.
You: did I ever need your consent
Stranger: You always needed my consent. Even to make dinner, or go out with your non-existent friends.
You: people like you create otakus
Stranger: I will not deny this.
You: what more can I say
You: the only regret I have harbour is not breaking up with you, I have never wronged you
Stranger: Oh, and who was that blonde you were with the other day?
You: Blonde,?
Stranger: Mhm. The one you were practically mauling at that pawn shop down the road.
You: i was buying you antique silverware
You: i would never wrong you,
Stranger: I never really thought of you as someone who would. I just wanted to be sure.
You: it was gift for our anniversary
Stranger: Oh yes, speaking of which, I bought you a little something for our anniversary, but seeing has I’m leaving you, consider it a farewell gift. (hands a small box)
You: i will keep it unopened just like your feelings in this relationship
Stranger: I thought you would say that. But you might want to open it if you find yourself in any future financial problems.
You: i have already lost what’s most important in my life
You: financial status holds no comfort
Stranger: You won’t be saying that when you find another special someone. I’m sure they’ll be MUCH better to you then I ever was.
You: though my love for you is gone, what was there will never be matched
Stranger: I really hate hearing you say things like that. It almost makes me feel bad. Almost.
You: i’m glad that you have guilt,
You: it almost makes me wish we could go back in time
Stranger: Yes, almost.
You: though the pain of the past 7 years tears me part i still wouldn’t trade the day we meet
You: for that is the only thing that’s kept me going
Stranger: Well I’m glad you have at least 1 thing to keep you going. I will worry about you, you know.
You: I will always remember they way you look that day, your scent and your touch will remain imprinted in my mind.
Stranger: didn’t look too shabby that day yourself
Stranger: But I can’t remember much of what you said…if I remember correctly, you were wearing these odd sunglasses I couldn’t stop staring at. Odd, I know.
You: Our love that day was like a mighty flame which held no equal, but now is left to vanish into the night.
Stranger: Mmmhm. Are you getting this off a book or something? I don’t know anyone who can think of this stuff right off the top or their head.
You: nope right out my head
Stranger: Huh. Interesting.
You: ?
Stranger: Lol I just never thought someone could just think of that stuff, especially on Omegle.
You: i have spare time
Stranger: I can tell.
You: that obvious
Stranger: Just a little
You: this may hold a record
You: no one so far has mentioned *asl*
Stranger: I don’t like when people begin a conversation like that. I get all “YA WELL I DON’T HAVE AN AGE, SEX, OR LOCATION. KNOW WHY? CUZ I’M A BUSY COMMUNIST”. And they get all “kbye”.
You: lol
Stranger: Lol is right. B )
You: *asl* i respond with heil the republic
You: get called a Nazi, next convo
Stranger: lmao! well i gotta go.. it was fun talkin to ya
You: k cya
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Stranger: STAR!
Stranger: OPEN FIRE!
You: hahhhh
Stranger: RAMIREZ TAKE POINT!
You: prararaprpaprap
You: ok
Stranger: FRAG OUT!
You: cover me
You: booooommbb
You: you almos hit me :/
Stranger: FRIENDLY FIRE!
You: smoke granade!!
Stranger: PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSJ
You: killstrike!! prpaprpaprpmamapm
Stranger: SHIT THESE GUYS ARE A STEP UP, THEY GOT THERMAL
You: helicopter
You: shit
You: granade launcher for they!!
You: pump!!
Stranger: RAMIREZ GRAB A STINGER!
You: use the rifle
You: got it!
Stranger: THEY”RE IN THE BARN
Stranger: TAKE DOWN THE CHOPPER!
You: 3
You: 2
You: 1
You: BOOOOOOOOOOMMMSSS
You: 4 death
Stranger: NOOO RAMIREZ DON’T DIE ON ME, a well he was a nigger anyway
You: hahhahaha
You: this chat need to be publish XD in funny chats
Stranger: Yes, yes it does
Stranger: see you later mij /b/rother
You: ok take care !! call of duty fan
Stranger: i want to talk dirty to a chick
You: I’m a chick
Stranger: you horny?
You: Yeah. I’m an 18 year old American babe
Stranger: any pictures babe?
You: No sorry, but if you ask me questions I’m willing to give answers
You:
Stranger: whats the best thing youve had in your pussy?
You: A penguin
You: It’s so hot when they flap their wings in there
Stranger: haha its so obvious your a guy :p]
You: Yup. Owned
You: Do you like towels?
Stranger: towels are soft
Stranger: do u /
You: What about brick towels? they aren’t
You: don’t tell me you dont have them in the US :O
Stranger: noo they arent
Stranger: noo idk what that is technichally
You: towels made of bricks. stupid invention actually. you cant even fold them
You: i believe you call them ‘walls’ in america?
Stranger: ohh goddness
Stranger: ohh i recognize that word…and yeahh theyre all over the place
You: some people rub themselves against them after showering in england instead of normal towels
Stranger: ohh. ouch
You: you look out of your window and you see olf hairy woman rubbing themselves against ‘brick towells’
Stranger: soo u call towels, walls?
You: no
Stranger: i mean walls, towels
You: you call ‘brick towels’ ‘walls’
Stranger: ur english in confusing me.
You: but towells are towells. its the same
Stranger: ohhk
You: get it?
Stranger: not rlly…lets switch topics
You: have you been on the pavement recently, and went to a cash point?
Stranger: is this all england terminology?
You: Or the motorway?
Stranger: i have been on ‘pavement’ recently but wtf is a ‘cash point’?
You: ATM
Stranger: motorway hahahha
Stranger: ohhh nope i havent
You: Don’t diss motorways
Stranger: u mean a street?
You: Nope. Motorway is like the big ones. Highways?
You: IDK
Stranger: highwways yes
Stranger: hahha
You: We have streets in England, but they’re called ‘outside corridoors’
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: whatttt?!
You: But the big outside corridoors are known as motorways
Stranger: england is crazzzyyy
Stranger: ohhk gotcha
You: no it’s not. your just not up to date
Stranger: any other terminology i should be familiar with?
You: Hrmmm
Stranger: i guess not
You: There is, I’m sure
You: I’ll think
Stranger: k
You: Do you have ‘falling clouds’ in England?
You: I mean US
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: fog?
You: No. I believe you call it Sonw
Stranger: ohh yeahh
You: No…Snow!
Stranger: snow
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: falling clouds thats a good one
You: anyway, in England right now there are falling clouds all over the place
Stranger: yeahh i heard about that
You: i can see them right underneath my lamppost
Stranger: ohh cool
Stranger: its not snowing here
You: *falling clouds
Stranger: yeahh i mean its not falling clouds here
Stranger: it was…
You: When?
Stranger: over the weekend
Stranger: like fri
You: fri?
Stranger: friday
You: ??? :S
Stranger: holy shit dude.
Stranger: the day of the week
You: We call it “Fiveday”
Stranger: the day after thurday before saturday
You: cuz it’s the fifth day
Stranger: im sure u do
You: Yeah
You: Holy fuck I’m not joking
Stranger: it would be the sixth day
You: You yanks are fucking cuuurazy
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: loolz
You: hahhahahaah
Stranger: do u piss sitting or standing up?
You: neither
Stranger: lolz
You: i dont drink anything
Stranger: are u animal?
You: therefore i never have to pee
You: no
Stranger: a bird?
You: no
Stranger: u must be an alien
You: no
Stranger: fuck off from our planet
You: im a mineral
Stranger: we dont need you here
Stranger: we will kill you aliens
Stranger: you all freaks
You: i come seeking the one called: bruno
Stranger: you build the pyramids
You: you stole our ideas
Stranger: built*
Stranger: no we didnt
Stranger: u aint got ideas
You: yes you did, we gave you fire
You: you should be grateful
Stranger: we stole our food
You: but no
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: http://de.tinypic.com/r/aze6ud/6
You: what the hell is that a link for?
You: omg!
You: you’re really not good looking!!
Stranger: fuck you
You: meh, its what you get for waving your pic around asshole
Stranger: whatever dickhead
You: soo… you gonna piss off then?
You: i’m a gal you douche
Stranger: then ure probably a gal with rolls, fatass
You: hahahaha! why? cos i turned your fugly ass down?
You: why the fuck open with a pic?
You: what do you expect?
Stranger: u think ure a beauty queen?
You: fuck no, but i aint as fucking horrid as you mate
Stranger: yeah right
You: oooh, burrrn
You: so, why havn’t you gone then? you jerking off to this pervert?
You: whats the matter? can’t get any?
Stranger: i know ure a guy, please
You: haha, love it- the moment a chick dominates you, you pull out the guy card
You: what a sadass
Stranger: quit pretending ure a chick
You: fucksake, what don’t you get?
You: if you’re so convined im a guy, why don’t you take your ugly ass pic somewhere else?
Stranger: why dont u
You: cos i love rinsing desperate dudes
You: you like getting your ass dominated or something?
You: what are you? a cock cruncher?
Stranger: nah, i aint gay
Stranger: im not the dude pretending hes a girl on here
You: but you ARE the dude pretending his pic is gonna get him some action?
Stranger: at least im not trying to lure straight guys
You: what the fuck? i’m a girl, it’s what you fucking expect from this gender fuckwit
Stranger: lol yeah right
You: k, bye then mofo
Stranger: good luck
You: love you really babe
You: xxxxxxxxxxx
You: this is for youtube
You:
You: and i am a girl, lol
You: just doing it for the hits
You: and you got dominatedd dude
Stranger: yeah and im the president
You: NO WAY?!
You: love the way you’re STILL keeping it up
You: christ
You: you’re hopeless
You: bye dude
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: i am horny asl?
You: paedophile?
Stranger: nahh
Stranger: i am 16
You: f/m?
Stranger: m
You: so you find little girls on the internet hey?
Stranger: why
You: we have found traces of child pornography on your computer sir
You: this is the CIA
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey hey
You: Hi Hugo
Stranger: Hey Bruno
You: Hey how have you been?
Stranger: good, still dating Steven?
You: Sadly no we split up?
Stranger: sucks
You: You still two-timing Lauren with Marcus?
Stranger: you know it
You: how was the party last week?
Stranger: crazy
Stranger: i find karen and julia having sex together
You: Apparently it was good lots of bitches and beer I heard
Stranger: karen was pouring beer to julia and licking it from her body
Stranger: good times
You: I did indeed see Karen and Juila at the party?
You: Wait, HUgo you weren’t at the party
Stranger: how do you know?
Stranger: it was a costume party
You: It was a pyjama party
You: you were not there you dirty paedophile
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: are you 11
You: hey how are you doing, paedophile?
You: older girls have bigger tits dude
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: [Automated Message: Omegle.com is required to notify you that the IP Address of the person you are chatting with is linked to a registered sex offender. Please take this into consideration when divulging personal information. The person you are chatting with cannot see this message.]
Stranger: hi
You: so how old are you?
Stranger: 19
You: I like sex
You: frequently throughout the day..
You: do you?
Stranger: ASL?
You: 45/m/UK
You: female?
Stranger: male
You: ffs
You have disconnected.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey horny guy here
You: Hey ugly, fat slag here
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You: GHOSTBUSTERS!
Stranger: Hey! how you doing?
You: Hey! how you doing?
Stranger: do i know you?
You: do i know you?
Stranger: i dun think so hun but we can get to know each other better and maybe exchange phone numbers if ur comfortable witht that..
You: i dun think so hun but we can get to know each other better and maybe exchange phone numbers if ur comfortable witht that..
Stranger: yeah, i have a hot or not account
You: yeah, i have a hot or not account
Stranger: im sorry but how old r u again ?
You: im sorry but how old r u again ?
Stranger: I’m actually at home right now what are you doing?
You: I’m actually at home right now what are you doing?
Stranger: ok im bored out of my mind, hence thats why im here huh lol
You: ok im bored out of my mind, hence thats why im here huh lol
Stranger: ok, well here, do you have a cam? cause i do and im lonely…
You: ok, well here, do you have a cam? cause i do and im lonely…
Stranger: ok just go to http://tinyurl.com/ygo7f32 and accept my cam invite, i like this site cause its like omegle, but with webcams
You: ok just go to http://tinyurl.com/ygo7f32 and accept my cam invite, i like this site cause its like omegle, but with webcams
Stranger: make sure to accept the invite and fill in the info before it expires ok…
You: make sure to accept the invite and fill in the info before it expires ok…
Stranger: dont worry about the CC its just to verify your age hun its the sites policy to ensure no minors get access to the site ..
You: lmfao you idiot
Stranger: YaY! Ok now if you got it come look for me
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: I’m masturbating… wanna help me?
You: give me a D?
You: I?
You: S?
You: C?
You: O?
You: N?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi, im 22, male, uk
You: hi
You: im from ireland
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
racist…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: im 16 m gay, are you?, yes or no, u have 6 secs to answer
You: 5
You: 4
You: 3
You: 2
You: 1
You: :O
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: wingardium leviousaaa
You: are you flying now?
Stranger: no wat r u on
You: my broomstick
You: come on harry lets go kill voldemort
Stranger: r u high
Stranger: im a f
You: it is quite high up here
You: ohh sorry hermione
Stranger: wat drugs r u on
You: come on lets go find harry
Stranger: r u retarded
You: no, its me silly! ronald weasly!!!
You: come on hurry up
Stranger: hav u lost it
You: yes thats why were going to find it!!! i thought you knew that
Stranger: r u crazy
Stranger: do u have a brain
You: hermione what is with you tonight? has snape given you a memory loss potion?
Stranger: nothin
You: then come on!!!
You: hop on my broom
You: your not in a fit state to fly
Stranger: listen you r not in harry potter
Stranger: loser
You: im not in harry potter…?!
You: wtf!?
You: do you know who i am!?
Stranger: yeah a weirdo
You: hermione!!!
You: i thought you loved me!
Stranger: i do
You: you do?!
You: then why these harsh words?
You: eh?
Stranger: because u cheated on me with hadgrid
You: how did you find out !!!!
You: did harry tell you? he promised he wouldnt!!!
Stranger: well hes sitting next 2 me
You: who is?
You: harry!!!?
You: that bastard!!!
You: i knew he wanted you to himself!!!
You: ill kill him!
You: AVADRA KEVADRA!!!!
Stranger: i saw u in bed with hadgrid
You: ew, you pervert get a life
You have disconnected.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: looking for some female entertainment
You: then im your man
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hey!
Stranger: hey
Stranger: welp im an 18 year old female from australia, no i am not touching myself, i am not hottttt, and i donthave cam and msn, all i have is dignity
Stranger: ….cutting out the middle man
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Who’s most credible person in the world?
You: Me
You: I know all my own lies
Stranger: no
Stranger: Who’s most credible person in the world?
You: Me
Stranger: the hint is M
You: M – E
You: ?
Stranger: 2nd alphabet is U
You: I know
You: ME
Stranger: no
Stranger: MU……
You: your gonna have to give me another clue
Stranger: MU???????
You: you truly are a master of wit
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You: *Alex walks into a stable*
Stranger: uh, *dave follows alex into the stable* O_o
You: *Alex turns and sees dave following close behind. his eyes focusing on my rear*
Stranger: *dave looks up sharkly and winks suggestively at alex*
You: *alex wiggles infront of you and looks suggestively at some cosey hay near by, gesturing you over”
Stranger: can i say “i” instead of dave?
You: no
You: your dave
Stranger: yeah thats what i mean
Stranger: you said “gesturing you over”!
Stranger: right, erm
Stranger: *i catch you up and grab your hand, pulling you over to the nearby hay*
You: *alex embraces you and gives you a long passionte kiss, lifting a knee in delight*
Stranger: *dave holds your leg up high and presses you against the wall, pushing his body against yours, continuing to kiss you passionately*
You: *alex turns round and presents my ass*
Stranger: *dave unzips your pants and pulls them down slowly, sliding his hands across your stomach and down into your panties, rubbing you playfully*
You: *bends down and chews some of the hay*
Stranger: haha, alex isn’t a horse by any chance?
You: *alex looks at you dissapointedly*
You: *the farmer walks in and finds dave molesting his prime steed*
Stranger: ahahaha
You: *the farmer charges a small fee and sends you on your way*
You: *dave is free to brutally molest again*
Stranger: yay!
You: Fin
You: that was a lovely story dave
Stranger: hi do you have a webcam? are you a sexy girl?
You: yo moma
Stranger: is hot blud
You: yeh she is
Stranger: i fucked her good last night
You: yeah me too
Stranger: OH so you’re jack?
You: wuuuut ?
You: BANG BANG CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG
Stranger: I love you. Im David. And you?
You: I LOVE YOU MORE
Stranger: mm nice
Stranger: from?
Stranger: Im so happy to meet you
You: I LOVE YOU BABYYYY, AND IF ITS QUITE ALRIGHT I NEED YOU BABYYY!
Stranger: mm yeha girl
Stranger: do you have a pic?
You: maha
You: how do you know im a girl ?
You: maybe im a boy ?
You: maybe im a horse?
You: maybe im a transvestite ?
You: MAYBE im a cookie?
You: maybe im an alien ?
You: MAYBE IM NOT REAL ? :O
You: MAYBE IM JUST IN YOUR MIND!
You: muahahaha
You: or maybe im jesus..
Stranger: 42
You: maybe im god
You: ARGHHH MAYBE IM MARILYN MANSON
You: OH SHITTT
You: DUDE HELP MEEEEEEEEE
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You: i like glitter
Stranger: sweet
You: i put it in my eyes
You: to make them sparkle
Stranger: i did that before
Stranger: it hurt
You: i do it all the time
You: its fun
Stranger: nice
You: i like hurting myself
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL OMGOMGOMGOMG THAT WAS THE FUNNIEST OMG THE MOST FUNNIEST THING IVE EVER SEEN IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD, HOLY SHIT MAN YOUR GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Heeey.
Stranger: .
You: . to you too.
You: I like full stops. They’re cute.
Stranger: ….
Stranger: is this turning u on?
You: Probably.
Stranger: i think you would know !
You: I’m not sure.
Stranger: well are u girl or boy?
You: I could be a girl. I could be a boy. I could be a horse. I could be a tranny. I could be a lightbulb.
Stranger: cause if boy then have a little look at your penis and see the size and hardness etc… if a girl then look at ur nipples
Stranger: im a tranny! snap!
You: WOW!
Stranger: you could also be a twat
You: Good point, young warrior.
You: Have a chocolate medal.
Stranger: if you are a lightbulb then you can see if your turned on!!!!
Stranger: how old are you?
You: Last time I checked I was 396.
Stranger: your a fool!!!!
Stranger: dont make up shit
Stranger: you must be saggy
You: Thank you!
Stranger: i love saggy bossoms
Stranger: mmmm
You: Many people have called me a fool. But when you call me a fool it’s sexy.
Stranger: nipples are well cool! spesh when they errect.. like cocks
Stranger: i am sexy
Stranger: like you
Stranger: lets shag
Stranger: in a bush
You: Ok!
Stranger: bush = my vagina
Stranger: you a 5 year old fool come back when you hit puberty and your balls have dropped !!!
Stranger: bye x
You: Are you a paedophile?
Stranger: nice talking to you
Stranger: YES
You: I knew it.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: STRANGER DANGER!
Stranger: i’m not danger….
You: but you are a stranger.
You: my mummy told me to never speak to strangers.
Stranger: ok
Stranger: but u r talking to me now
Stranger: and i m a stranger
You: shit
You have disconnected.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello ,dear stranger ,when i say i am chinese,some of you go away ,tell me why,what do you think of chinese?no matter what you say ,i don’t care .
You: LIAR
You: r u yellow?
Stranger: yes
You: OMG :O
Stranger: what?
You: LIAR:O
Stranger: something innormal?
Stranger: I am a liar?
You: yes u are?????
Stranger: to be honesty,even believe,a lie in it
You: OMG gess wat i just saw?
Stranger: you saw what?
You: A ……………………………i forgot
Stranger: a monster、
You: no
You: omg i just remberd
Stranger: you forgot?
Stranger: r u ok?
You: no im in a metal home yestarday
Stranger: oh ,terrible
Stranger: u r surivered?
You: no its awesome i get free food
You: am i wat now?????
Stranger: Prison?
You: THE SKY IS FALLING!
Stranger: how r u ?
Stranger: r u ok?
Stranger: may be you should have enough sleep
You: no wat AHHHHHHHHHHH leave me alone LIAR LIAR
Stranger: nothing serious
Stranger: have a good rest
You: NO MOMMY I DONT WANT To suck ur nipples
Stranger: and you want to suck my vagina?
Stranger: or penis?
Stranger: do want u wanna
Stranger: big boy
You: yes please ….. mommy leave me alone
NOOOOOOOO That hurts daddy
Stranger: no no no ,daddy will be happy if he see you r happy
You: ummmmmm…………:/ NOOOOOOOOO uncle tom i dont like pickles
Stranger: and you can suck his penis
You: nooooooooo i want ur nice wet pussy stranger
Stranger: cat go with dog
You: wat sucks who on britney spears??
Stranger: suck penis on Michael Jackson
You: hes dead
Stranger: it does n’t matter for you
Stranger: just suck it
Stranger: like just beat it
You: nooo its all rinkly
You: i like boobies
You: LIAR
You: no im not
Stranger: virgia?
You: YES U ARE
Stranger: little virgina
Stranger: no ,you u not
Stranger: I am not gay
Stranger: but you
You: yes i am a LIAR no im no YES U R
Stranger: u r
Stranger: only u
You: mommy please stop i dont like ur penis on my face
You: OMG i like BOOOBBBBIIIIEEESSS
Stranger: u just a virgin
You: yarh but narhhh
Stranger: do u like my penis in you mouth?
Stranger: just suck it
Stranger: I don’t care dear
You: no me do not i like a nice 18 year old pussy
You: TO INFINTY AND BEONED
Stranger: don’t speak with you mouth full with sperm s
You: shut up yellow man
Stranger: u r white man?
You: no im a black man
Stranger: hello nergo
You: RASIST
Stranger: I am yellow man
You: yes u are
Stranger: I am asia
Stranger: big asian
Stranger: hah
Stranger: lol
You: no ur from uk arent u
Stranger: you have big penis
You: yes me does
Stranger: big ,long
You: yes
Stranger: black~~~
You: yarh
Stranger: but why your spern r white?
Stranger: sperm
Stranger: many sperm ,r white
Stranger: why
Stranger: why
Stranger: black man?
You: i ask that alot to
but ur yellow y is urs yellow?
Stranger: yellow is right
You: no blue is nice
Stranger: but black is hard to find
You: i dont like rice
Stranger: nice and rice
You: i like chocolate
Stranger: but how can you find it and put it in you mouht?
Stranger: mouth
Stranger: yep
You: no pussy
Stranger: pussy
Stranger: that ’s pussy
Stranger: black man
Stranger: have a good life
Stranger: nergo
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: Hey hey
Stranger: hows it going?\
You: Pretty good..
You: But..
You: We need to talk.
Stranger: About?
You: How you cheated on me with a bagel last night in our very own kitchen.
Stranger: At least it knew how to satisfy a man!!!
You: HOW DARE YOU
Stranger: YOU NEVER LOVED ME!!!
Stranger: YOU HARDLY EVEN TOUCH ME ANYMORE!
You: That’s because ALL I SEE IS THAT WHORE BAGEL
You: AND YOU
You: MAKING DIRTY
You: SWEATY
You: NASTY SEX
Stranger: THAT BAGEL LOVED ME LIKE YOU NEVER HAVE!
You: YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I CARED ABOUT YOU
You: until you gave up on our marriage
You: I’m taking the kids
You: and you can have your stupid bagel
Stranger: NO! PLEASE,
Stranger: DON’T GO!
You: It’s too LATE
Stranger: WE CAN MAKE THIS WORK, I’M SORRY, I LOVE YOU
You: You should’ve thought about that before you buttered that bagel
You: And I SAW THE JAM THAT YOU SPREAD ON TOP OF THE BUTTER
You: And then.. the cream cheese..
You: I SAW IT
Stranger: Please! I love you! I only want you!
You: That’s a lie bruno and you know it
You: I’m gonna go Alanis Morrisette on your ass
You: And I’m taking all my stuff
You: And the kids
You: No actually
You: I’m kicking you out
Stranger: Please don’t do this baby, I love you!@
You: Oh please don’t lie to me like this
Stranger: I’ll do anything, please!!
You: That damn whore bagel.. With her fluffy bread.. Slightly toasted..
Stranger: I never loved anyone as much as I love you.. Not even the bagel. Please don’t do this, I’m so sorry
You: ..
You: …….
You: Prove it then Bruno rapedick. PROVE IT
You: Show me why I became Mrs. Rapedick
Stranger: I will, I’ll do anything
You: No I can’t do this again
You: You’ve cheated on me before
You: With the milk
You: Don’t tell me you forgot
Stranger: I thought we were over that, baby please
Stranger: I’m so sorry I hurt you.. I never meant to
You: Oh yeah right!
You: Even before the milk
You: In highschool
You: You cheated on me with your jockstrap
Stranger: We were just kids! Baby please don’t do this!
Stranger: I want us to be the Rapedicks! I want us to be a family again!!!
You: Our love is dying
You: Ever since the milk I knew
Stranger: No… Baby no..
You: Fine then show me how you’re gonna make this up to me
Stranger: I’ll do everything, baby, I’ll do anything you ask. I’ll stay home, I’ll spend more time with you, we’ll go out more. We’ll go on a second honeymoon! Think about it, love, just think; I’ll do anything
You: ….
Stranger: Please, I love you
You: Will you… Get rid of the bagels?
Stranger: I’ll never even look at a bagel again!
You: Will you buy me that monkey I saw in Martha Stewart’s Magazine?
Stranger: Yes
Stranger: And you can name him whatever you want, I don’t care anymore, I just want you
You: I FORGIVE YOU BRUNO RAPEDICK
Stranger: I LOVE YOU!
You: I LOVE YOU TOO
You: I’ll tell the kids to unpack
You: And we’ll all go to disney land.
Stranger: I love you so much, sweetheart, don’t you ever forget it
You: You’re like a robber.. You’ve stolen my heart.
Stranger: You make me so happy, Bage-
Stranger: …
You: …..
Stranger: I mean, Sarah
You: ……
Stranger: Sarah
You: I can’t believe you..
You: I KNEW IT
You: I KNEW YOU WERE GONNA DO THIS
You: I KNEW YOU LOVED THAT FUCKIN BAGEL
Stranger: No, baby, IT WAS A MISTAKE!
You: You know what!
You: I’m gonna go stab that bagel in the face
You: IN THE FACE
Stranger: No, DON’T DO THIS
Stranger: BABY PLEASE!!! DON’T DO THIS!!!
You: -Grabs the knife- YOU CAN’T STOP ME BRUNO
Stranger: NO!
You: Where’s that little flakey piece of dirty dough
Stranger: Please, God, don’t do this!!
Stranger: Bagel, RUN!!
You: WTF ARE THESE DONUTS DOING HERE
Stranger: Do you want the truth..?
You: Yes damn it
Stranger: I got them for you.. It was going to be a surprise..
You: …
You: You’re a liar.
You: I know that you’re lying
Stranger: No, darling, I swear!
You: PANTS ON FIRE BRUNO
You: That’s how much of a liar you are
Stranger: No! Not that! Baby, you don’t mean that!
You: Yes I do
You: I mean that
You: More then anything
Stranger: No..
You: YES
Stranger: -breaks down crying-
You: Good
You: I’m GLAD
Stranger: please.. please.. I’m so sorry
Stranger: Sarah, I love you
Stranger: please, oh god, please, SARAH! Don’t go!
You: IT’S TOO LATE
You: I’m a rapedick no more
You: And I’m gonna stab all your bagels AND DONUTS
You: TEACH YOU A LESSON
You: IN LOVE
Stranger: Well.. Go ahead and stab the donuts; they were for you, anyways. But GOD, NO, SARAH, DON’T STAB THE BAGEL! ALL IT EVER DID WAS LOVE ME!!
You: -Runs into the kitchen- I’M GONNA DO IT
You: AND THEN I’M GONNA KILL THE BAGEL’S FAMILY
Stranger: NO!!!
You: AND THEN I’M TAKING MY KIDS AND LEAVING
You: FOREVER
You: -Grabs the bagel- TRY AND STOP ME BRUNO I DARE YOU
You: I’LL STAB YOU TOO
Stranger: NO!!!
Stranger: SARAH, DON’T DO THIS!!
Stranger: Sarah, please! I love you!
You: Oh yeah right!
You: You said her name! You said BAGEL
You: I’m not falling for that again!!
Stranger: IT WAS A MISTAKE!
You: Oh I know it was!
You: Too bad cause it’s TOO LATE
Stranger: No! please, give me another chance!!! I’ll do ANYTHING!!!
Stranger: I’ll.. I’ll…
Stranger: I’ll stab the bagel for you… God, Sarah, I’ll do it, just stay!
You: …
You: You will stab this bagel…
You: In the face..
You: Right now..?
Stranger: Thirty-seven times
You: .. Thirty-eight..
Stranger: Anything, Sarah. I’ll do anythng for you
You: -Hands him the knife- Do it.. RIGHT NOW OR WE’RE OVER
Stranger: -stabs bagel thirty-eight times in the FACE-
You: -Starts sobbing- STAB STAB STAB
Stranger: -starts breaks down crying again-
Stranger: Sarah.. I love you
You: I love you too!
You: Thank you… for stabbing that bagel in the face..
Stranger: Oh, God, Sarah, I’d do anything for you
You: Lets get married again!
Stranger:
You: I love you lamp!
You: …
You: I mean
You: I-I mean
You: BRUNO
Stranger: Sarah!
You: I love you BRUNO
Stranger: I can’t believe you, Sarah!
Stranger: I mean, I knew about the couch, I’ve known for years
Stranger: But the LAMP?!
You: :O
You: WELL YEAH
You: You’ve had all these stupid bagels all these years!
You: I had to make myself happy somehow!
You: DAMN IT I DESERVE LOVE
Stranger: I LOVE YOU!
You: I LOVE YOU TOO
You: Let’s end this fight once and for all
You: For the kids sake. and for our marriage’s sake
Stranger: For each other
You: Yes
You: Let’s go make up for all the years of lost love
Stranger: I love you, Sarah <3
You: I love you too Bruno <3
You: I'm a rapedick one and for all
Stranger: Good. I wouldn't have it any other way
Stranger: Now take off your clothes so I can show you what it means to make love with a MAN instead of a lamp!
You: Ooo you devil!
Stranger: -Smacks your ass- Yeah, you like that
You: I'm better then a stupid bagel right?
Stranger: You always were
You: And the milk? And the jockstrap?
Stranger: All of it, you are the best I've ever had
You: Good. Now lets get naked.
You: xD Wow this went on for a really long time.
Stranger: Yeah I'm surprised at how well it all came together lol
Stranger: Well played XD
You: Yes, very well played.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Heeey !
Stranger: nigger plz!
You: Amagawsh
Stranger: Wagwannnnn ma bruddahhh!!
You: Oooooh no you di-aint !
Stranger: I did. i just typed it, its right above your previous comment
Stranger:
You: Bitch, imma whoop yo ass noa ! D:<
Stranger: OMG
You: Dun make me come ova dere !
Stranger: Dont go dere bruddah!
You: Ooooh I think i just did
You: WHATCHU GON' DO?
You: Yeaaah -does the negro dance-
Stranger: Ima slap the taste out of ur mouth!
You: Realleh? : |
You: Oh then… i'm sorry.
Stranger: Ye, thought so brother
You: -Suprise whoopin'- HAH.
You: Don't evah believe this fat black chick.
Stranger: dats my sorta gal!
You: Yaaah I bet chu like some junk in that trunk ;D
Stranger: i like summit hold on to girlfriennddddd
You: Boi, what language you speakin' ?!
Stranger: bit ov everything brother
You: Fine.
Stranger: thought so.
Stranger: bitch.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello,
m, 21
horny
You: 18 f
Stranger: where from?
You: east cost
You: usa
You: u
Stranger: canda
Stranger: canada
Stranger: horny?
You: honrny love you long time
You: lol
Stranger: what?
You: oh its a old saying
You: meaning yes
You: american thing
Stranger: what do you look like?
You: hmm
You: I’d say sienna guillory but with blond hair and larget breast
You: *larger
Stranger: natural?
You: of course!
You: you
You: big
Stranger: no, pretty flat
Stranger:
Stranger: my breasts
You: you know what I mean
Stranger: actually completely normal in terms of length, but i’m told quite a bit thicker
You: I gtg, btw I am actually a dude and you should never trust anyone online you fucking perverted faggot.
You have disconnected.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: heya sl
Stranger: asl
You: YOU KNOW WHAT ANNOYS MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?! :@
You: GRRRR
Stranger: sorry
Stranger: i didnt know
You: NO
You: DO YOU?
You: DO YOU KNOW?
Stranger: yes yes i do
You: IT PISSES ME OFFF SOOO MUCH
Stranger: sorry
Stranger: well are you a male or female?
You: ARGH I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE SMILE AT YOU
You: ITSSOOO FUCKING ANNOYING
You: I HATE IT
You: AGH
You: AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE PISSES ME OFF ?
Stranger: what?
You: WHEN PEOPLE WINK AT YOU FOR O FCKING REASON
You: I MEAN WTF ?
Stranger: ouu
Stranger: okay
Stranger: are you a female or male?
You: AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE PISSES ME OFF EVEN MORE?
Stranger: WHAT?
You: WHEN PEOPLE FUCKIN CHEW GUM
You: UGH
You: WTF IS GUM FOR ANYWAYS
You: WHATS THE POINTITS JUST THERE TO PISS ME OFFFFF
You: AND THE THING THAT PISSES ME OFF THE MOST
You: IS YOUR FACE
Stranger: okay shut the fuck up and awnser my god damn question
You: ITS LIKE SOOO
You: URG
Stranger: male or female?
You: YOU JUST WANNA SLAP IT
You: AND PUNCH IT
You: AND STAB IT
You: ANDARGH
You: I JUST WANNA USE YOUR FACE AS A PUNCHBAG SOMETIMES
You: ITS SOOOOOO ANNOYING
You: GRRRR :@
Stranger: me wtf you are soo fuckin annoying
You: AND
You: I HATE IT
You: WHEN
You: YOU
You: PUT YOUR MAKE UP ON
You: LIKE
You: REALLY WEIRDLY
You: LIKE
You: EVERY NIGHT
Stranger: i fuckin hate you you god damn man whore
You: AT 6
You: ITS LIKE
You: EVERY UCKING NIGHT
You: UGH
Stranger: who is this
You: IT JUST MAKES YOUR FCE MORE ANNOYING :@
Stranger: who in the fuck are you
You: im your cousins friend
You: hi
Stranger: whos your cousin?
You: not MY cousin asshole
You: YOUR cousin
You: well im actually friends with your cousins friend
You: so i kno your cousin
Stranger: who is it?
You: and he jus told me about you
You: he didnt tell me his name :/ i met him on facebook
You: he just told me about you
Stranger: then how do i know if its you and i dont have facbook
You: i never said you had facebook
You: i said your cousin does
Stranger: then whats your name?
You: charlie
Stranger: last name?
You: oh well that bit doesnt concern you
Stranger: wjhats his name
Stranger: wtf
You: what
You: i just told you
You: he wouldnt tell me :/
You: i know your cousins friend
Stranger: wtf i dont know a Charlie
You: thats how i know your cousin
You: i know
You: i never said you knew me
You: i said I KNOW YOUR COUSIN
Stranger: whats the cousins name?
You: he. wouldnt. tell. me
Stranger: why?
Stranger: okay then whats my name?
You: he wouldnt tell me tht either
You: he just told me to talk to you
Stranger: about what?
Stranger: what are we suppose to talk about?
You: just.. stuff
Stranger: like?
You: stuff
Stranger: like god damn it?
You: wuuuut?
Stranger: okay whats your last name?
You: like i said, that doesnt concern you babe
Stranger: babe?
Stranger: okay go damn it tell me who you are this is fuckin creepin me how do you know i puts make up on at 6
You: i told you, ive spoken to your cousin
Stranger: wtf stalker
Stranger: im callin the cops
You: go ahead
Stranger: i am
Stranger: where do i live then
You: aww how come you dont know where you live?
You: memory loss huh ?
Stranger: no i know i waan know if you know?
Stranger: bye
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: we need to talk.
Stranger: ok
Stranger: about what?
You: i saw you cheating with the maid!
You: I CANT believe you
You: think about the kids..
Stranger: the kids were watching too
You: NO!!!!!!!
You: they are scarred. scarred for life.
You: do you think yoll have a future with that whore?
Stranger: no it was just a fuck
You: well. too bad.
You: im leaving you.
You: and my things are packed, and the kids are at my moms.
Stranger: good your puss isnt any fun
You: you werent good in bed ethier
Stranger: ask your sister
You: what?! my sister too?
You: well. thats too bad. cause you should ask your best friend rob
You: how i was
Stranger: yea he said you were terrible
You: PAH. you should have listened to him moaning for more
Stranger: whatever makes you feel better
You: hah.
You: well.
You: thats besides the point
You: anyways
You: have fun with the maid. oh and i get the house
You: and full custoy you perv
Stranger: fine with me
Stranger: i dont want those fucking brats
You: good, because robs moving in
You: but you can have that painting of us on our honeymoon doing it
You: in France
Stranger: great
You: i know you love it
You: i see you in the room
You: looking at it in your rocking chair.
Stranger: while the maid blows me
You: yeah, she might, until she dumps you for the next fat ass rich man
Stranger: not worried
Stranger: since im not fat
Stranger: rich tho true
You: ha. thats what you think. *about the fatness*
You: WELL
You: let me show you to the door *gesture toward door*
Stranger: see ya bitch
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
or save this log or send us feedback.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
and here we have stores where you can walk inside and use the computers and do whatever you want
lmfao first black president ever.. Obama 
its really funnn
Stranger: hi
You: hey
Stranger: sup
You: not much.
You: just woke up >.<
Stranger: haha samee
You: where you from?
Stranger: usa
Stranger: u?
You: australia
Stranger: ohh nicee
Stranger: its 3 pm here lol what time is it there?
You: 7:13am
You: haha
Stranger: haha oh wow you wake up earlyy
Stranger: have school today?
You: no, i'm too old for school. i have work though. but.. that's not for another three hours… =/
Stranger: ohh nicee
You: how old are you?
Stranger: 13
Stranger: u?
You: 18
Stranger: oh nice
You: 13 and you know how to use omegle?!
You: omg
You: wow
You: smart lil cookie
You: xD
Stranger: haha yeah
Stranger: ive been using the computer since i was 6
Stranger:
Stranger: i kno everything about the internet lmfao
You: whoaaa
You: kids these days!
Stranger: lol yeah thats what things are like in america
You: it's illegal to use the computer here before the age of 16
Stranger: OMG are you serious!!??
You: yeah…
You: get massive fines hey!
You: and if you repeat offense…
You: juvi man.
Stranger: OMG
Stranger: that sucks!!
You: serious stuff aye
Stranger: lol yeah!! here you can buy one and thats it.. like no one checks to see if your using it.. like we have a huge computer lab at my school
You: omg
You: that's insane!!!!!
Stranger: lol for you it is
You: :O
You: little kids too???
Stranger: yeah! they dont care lol
You: :O
You: that is soooooooooo illegal here!
You: you have to have ID to go into those shops.
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: so do you have a king and queen or president or what
You: We have a King.
You: King Swivel
Stranger: ohh nicee.. here we have a president.. and hes BLACK!
You: wow!
You: cool!
Stranger: lol yupp
You: our kings white?
Stranger: lol nicee
You: i was in a parade for the king once!
Stranger: oh thats cool
Stranger: so have you ever heard of youtube?
You: what's that?
Stranger: its a website.. REALLY popular here.. like REALLY popular.. you upload videos to it about whatever and yeah
You: like a video file share?
Stranger: kind of.. go to it its youtube.com
You: fucks sake, that is completely illegal here now!!!
You: that kinda thing.
You: 2007 King Swivel made the law
Stranger: really?
You: yeah ):
You: internet is so boring now.
Stranger: oh wow… we can go on whatever we want lol
You: your president should hang out with our king..
Stranger: hahaha yes!!
You: maybe he could loosen him up a bit.
You: lol
You: ):
Stranger: lol yeahh
Stranger: but you guys know what facebook is, right?
You: ummm…
You: yeah I think..
You: you have to be 21 or older to use it.
You: So yeah.
Stranger: holy-
Stranger: omg i have one! haha like everyone has one ;P
You: far out..
You: I'm getting one on my 21st birthday xD
You: hehehe
You: Mum said I can!
Stranger: lol nicee
You: yeah, so excited!!!
Stranger: yepp
You: cool!
You: so do you guys have parades for your president?
You: we have one tomorrow!!!! xD
Stranger: umm no not reallyy.. we just have parades for special holidays like thanksgiving and here we have a holiday called the 4th of July. its when america got its independence to be free
Stranger: and yeah
You: oh okay
Stranger: lol yeah'
You: yeah, we have ones like that.
Stranger: yeah i love them
You: but tomorrow is Nude Parade.
Stranger:
Stranger: loll
Stranger: is that when you get nude
You: it's to celebrate the sexuality of all the human race..
You: well..
Stranger: ohh nicee
You: kinda
Stranger: lol thats cool
You: woman have to wear panties.
You: but that's all.
Stranger: ohh lol nicee
You: and yeah.. King Swivel comes to our town..
You: and he does a speech and stuff
Stranger: nicee
You: and all the kids get days off school
You: xD
Stranger: hahaha luckkyy!! here we have this testing called S.A.T's and yeah.. we have them all this week
Stranger: :[
You: what's that?
You: Sexual Acts Together?
Stranger: nooo
Stranger: its like
Stranger: the teachers pass out a booklet and you read a story and answer questions about it
Stranger: a short story
You: oh wow!
You: sounds so magical
Stranger: and then theres reading math and science
Stranger: testings
Stranger: lol yeah
Stranger: but it sucks
You: is Sucks a good thing there for you?
Stranger: nope.. it means its not good
Stranger: lol
You: When we say sucks, it's really good…
Stranger: nicee
You: so you'll be like, "OMG! This icecream sundae SUCKS!"
You: and yeah.
You: All my friends say I suck xD
Stranger: hahahha
Stranger:
You: Anyway..
You: I have to go collect the eggs from my Kangaroo now..
Stranger: umm do they even lay eggs?
You: pfft! yes!
You: They suck!!!
You: byeeee
Stranger: lol byee
You have disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I can give you a tuturial on how to have amazing self love…
Stranger: If you like.
Stranger: Are we talking metaphysical or what?
You: Firstly, two questions: 1. Male or Female? 2. Age?
Stranger: Female, 19
You: Excellent. Let’s begin.
Stranger: Ook
You: The morning is an excellent time for self love..
You: your body is refreshed, renewed and relaxed..
Stranger: It is night time here.
You: Take both your arms…
You: and wrap them around your shoulders, hug yourself and say reassuring things, such as: “You are a good person!” and “You are more than enough!”
Stranger:
Stranger: I do that every night
You: When you become comfortable reaching yourself in such a deep way, you may go deeper…
You: Rub one arm with the hand of your other arm..
Stranger: Not too deep I hope.
You: Take things slow.. there’s no need to rush it…..
Stranger: This sounds a bit weird.
You: Keep rubbing… whisper things like: “You’re very pretty!” and “I am a happy person.”
You: Soon you will get sweet little tingles through your body.
You: Don’t be afraid.
Stranger: Oh my god, I’m dying
You: Relax. I can understand you’ve never had self love before.
You: We’re going to approach this gently…
You: yet in a firm manner.
Stranger: You’re right, I don’t love myself enough
Stranger: Can I eat chocolate whilst I do this?
You: Yes, once your pupils have dialated.. now is the time to consume chocolate..
You: feel free to eat excess amounts.
Stranger: What about whiskey, can I have that too?
You: It’s excellent to hide behind a tyre of weight around your waist.
Stranger: Its Southern Comfort, that’s self-loving right?
You: Save that for a little later. We’re only on step five.
Stranger: Oh ok.
Stranger: But i don’t think I can love myself unless I’m drunk
Stranger: I mean… srsly.
Stranger: I’m gonna need the old goggles
You: Here’s what you have to do..
You: Pour eight shot glasses of southern comfort…
You: line them up on the kitchen bench..
Stranger: Ok..
You: have a trusted friend film this on a video camera..
You: you will want such a momentous occasion recorded, for later viewing..
Stranger: Aw, this better not be two girls one cup-esq
Stranger: otherwise I’m done.
You: I don’t know what that is.. but relax…
You: you’re spoiling your aura.
Stranger: Does it have a colour?
You: Start at the beginning of the line..
Stranger: My aura
Stranger: Ok, ok
You: Mustard Poo Colour.
Stranger: Sexy.
You: For each shot glass of whiskey you take, you must say three things you’d love to be in yourself…
Stranger: I can do that
You: For example: “Kidney…” “Heart…” “Lung…”
You: Repeat this for the whole eight shots…
Stranger: I’d love to be a rib
Stranger: I’d love to be a ventricle.
Stranger: I’d love to be a skin cell
Stranger: I’d love to be a lung
You: by the end, you will have succefully accessed your inner body and will be able to instruct yourself towards greater self love.
Stranger: I love myself already
Stranger: I’m so mushy and warm
You: Congratulations…. please take your fingers from your pussy.
You have disconnected.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: i know you
Stranger: Okay you think that
You: I do.
Stranger: whats my name
You: I knew I would find you.
You: You never told me in the past life.
Stranger: Yeah okay
Stranger: whats my name?
You: You refused to tell me. So I don’t know.
Stranger: Sure, ill give you a hint, it starts with a L
You: Was is Lauren?
Stranger: Yes…
You: I knew it.
You: and you doubted me.
Stranger: who is this then?
You: Adam duh
Stranger: adam who?
You: yes
Stranger: Adam….?
You: Adam Who is my name
Stranger: Okay then
You: What are you doing Lauren?
Stranger: Nothing. hbu
You: Burying the body
Stranger: okayyy?
You: My dog skippy died.
Stranger: ohh im sorry
You: No, don’t be. He deserved what he got.
Stranger: why?
You: He wouldn’t listen.
Stranger: so you killed him
You: No, my dad did.
Stranger: oh okay
You: I could never kill skippy. I love him.
Stranger: But you said he deserved it
You: He did.
Stranger: but you love him
You: Correct.
Stranger: well arent you sad
You: No. Guys don’t get sad, we get even.
You: The father is going down.
Stranger: What!?
You: He will learn his lesson.
Stranger: what do you mean
You: I can’t go into details. You might get in trouble.
Stranger: i might? why?
You: The cops could trace this back to you and say you didn’t try to warn my dad.
Stranger: i dont know your dad
You: But you really do.
You: He told me about you.
Stranger: I DONT know you. you DONT know me. your just a kid who is bored and has no life other than this. Me? im just bored. i met a realllyyy great guy on here. and hes NOT fake. unlike you.
You: He’s not. How do you know that he wasn’t me?
Stranger: Whats your real name
You: Adam Who
Stranger: then no its not you
You: Well i lie.
Stranger: i can telll. but i email him. and i have his facebook. hes not you.
You: Get a life! LMFAO
You have disconnected.